Second Chance
by blowflylaura
Summary: Sian lost Sophie once before, she's determined to not let that happen again.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

Sian rolled over in bed, her hand automatically seeking out the body beside her only to hit the cold mattress. Sian opened her eyes and sighed. This seemed to happen every morning, Sian always thinking that Sophie would be beside her before realising that she probably wouldn't ever be there again. She hadn't been there for the last four months.

Sian covered her face with her hands and groaned in frustration. She still hadn't been able to get her head around the impending divorce, never wanted it in the first place but Sophie had pushed for it. Sophie had threatened her with it enough times and now she was finally following through.

Sian wished that she could say that her relationship with Sophie since they separated had been amicable but in reality their relationship hadn't been amicable in the latter stages. Sian still tried to contest the coming divorce every time she saw Sophie but Sophie constantly told her that she wasn't going to change her mind. She needed the divorce.

_Sian brought another spoonful of her cereal to her mouth when Sophie slammed the post before her causing to jump slightly._

"_Whoa," Sian said, raising her free hand in defence. "Somebody got out the wrong side of the bed this morning." _

_Sophie scoffed, "hard to do that when you're sleeping on the couch."_

_Sian shook her head, "you're the one that decided to do that. Do you think I want that? I want you in our bed Soph." _

_Sophie shuffled through the post and threw a letter at Sian. "I suggest you read that."_

_Sian dropped her spoon into the bowl as she caught the letter. She furrowed her eyebrows as she surveyed the letter, it was certainly formal and her eyes caught sight of the address. Burrow & Co. Solicitors. Her eyebrows furrowed even more as her face filled with confusion. Tearing open the envelope, Sian read the contents, her eyes skimming over the words before they widened in shock._

"_You've filed for divorce!" Sian stood from her chair, throwing the letter back on the counter, walking over towards Sophie. Her eyes held a mixture of emotions, anger, shock, confusion but most of all hurt. Sophie could see them all. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sian shouted._

"_Oh come on Sian, are you honestly telling me you didn't see this coming?" Sophie replied, anger lacing her voice. She couldn't reply with anything but anger because if she did, she would break down._

"_My wife filing for divorce. No I actually didn't!" Sian's voice was just as loud but Sophie could hear that her anger was dissipating slightly. "Why?"_

_Sophie laughed harshly. "Why? I don't know Sian, maybe because we haven't a marriage for the past six months, your work has become your mistress, you're hardly ever home and when you are we don't spend any time together. Or the kicker, you forgot our anniversary."_

_Sian closed her eyes before gripping the counter. "How many more times do you want me to apologise for that?"_

"_You shouldn't have to apologise Sian. You shouldn't have forgotten in the first place!"_

"_I told you how busy I was with work." Sian was speaking quietly and Sophie knew that she was beyond angry. Sian also spoke quietly when she was furious, it was always how Sophie could tell whether they were about to have an argument. _

"_And Kelly." Sophie muttered the words in a childish manner causing Sian's eyes to snap open._

_Kelly had been working with Sian for the past eight months and Sophie had seen the way she would look at her wife. She had seen the way Kelly acted around Sian. Since they first started dating, Sophie had jealousy issues and Sian knew that but she tried her best to hide it but she couldn't pretend that she wasn't jealous of Kelly, she always had. But this time her jealousy had only been galvanised by the fact that Sian constantly worked late and hardly ever answered Sophie's calls when she was working. Their relationship had been strained for a while but for the past six months, their marriage had become invisible. They barely slept in the same bed and even when they did, they slept on separate sides and barely touched. Sian had always had a high sex drive which made Sophie worry even more, if they weren't sleeping together, Sophie couldn't help but wonder why that had suddenly disappeared._

"_Kelly!" Sian's anger had returned. "Oh don't you dare bring this up again, I have told you time and time again, there is nothing going on."_

"_And I don't believe you!" Sophie bit back._

"_So that's the reason. You're divorcing me because you think I'm having an affair?" _

"_I'm divorcing you because we may as well not be married already the way things have been."_

_Sian stepped closer to Sophie, grabbing her hands in her own, grateful that Sophie didn't walk away. "I know things have been bad recently."_

"_Understatement don't you think."_

"_Okay, things have been shit!" Sian's voice began to rise once more. "But that doesn't mean we need to do anything drastic."_

"_Things haven't been the same since…"_

"_Don't even bring that up." Sian stated firmly._

"_Sian," Sophie tried to speak but Sian interrupted her, frightened of what she would say._

"_We can go to counselling." Sian suggested, grasping at straws knowing that once Sophie made her mind up, she rarely changed it._

"_You said you'd rather die than go to counselling." Sophie said._

_Sian looked down at the ground nervously before staring back at Sophie, her blue eyes glistening with tears. "I'd rather die than lose you."_

_Sophie closed her eyes; Sian's words making her heart ache. _

"_Please Sophie, I'll do anything. I'll work less; we'll spend more time together." Sophie felt Sian's hand cupping her cheek but her eyes stayed closed. Sophie felt Sian's lips against her own, only for a second before Sian pulled back and Sophie opened her eyes. "Things will change."_

_Sophie stepped out of Sian's grasp knowing that Sian's words were having an effect of her but she couldn't let them. This was the right thing to do. It was what Sophie needed to do._

"_Words Sian. That's all they are." Sophie began to pace the kitchen whilst Sian stayed still looking sheepish. "Sure maybe things will change for a little bit but give it a couple of weeks, maybe months if we're lucky and everything will be back to the way it was."_

"_That's not true," Sian said._

"_I don't think even you believe that." Sophie started. "You must have known how things would end up, stop kidding yourself."_

"_Kidding myself! Well I'm sorry for wanting to be with my wife." _

"_But you don't! You do now because you're scared but for the past six months, I seem to have been the last port of call for you. Everything else was more important. Do you know how that made me felt? To know that my wife doesn't even confide in me anymore, she'd rather tell somebody else. Do you know how I felt when I found out you'd been collapsing at work from your boss? You didn't even tell me you might be ill."_

"_That was exhaustion; I didn't want to worry you." Sian's voice was incredibly soft and Sophie knew it wouldn't take much to break._

"_You have an answer for everything don't you."_

_Sophie turned and began to walk away._

"_I thought we were going to have kids?" Sian said in a desperate attempt to stop Sophie from going._

_Sophie halted. She and Sian had talked about kids for a few years, both deciding to wait until they had more time. Truth was that Sophie had been ready since she married Sian four years ago but Sian always seemed to put work before starting a family. It killed Sophie knowing that Sian chose work over starting a family with her but she suppressed those feelings because she loved Sian and she knew that one day, they would start a family. A family with Sian is all she'd ever wanted._

"_I'd booked us a doctor's appointment for next Wednesday." Sophie turned around as Sian began to speak noticing that she was now crying. "It was going to be a surprise." Sian smiled weakly. "Guess I was the one that got a surprise." Sian said, trying to make a joke out of the situation although neither girl laughed and Sophie could see through Sian's pathetic attempt at humour, she could see just how much Sian was hurting._

"_You said you weren't ready for kids."_

_Sian shrugged her shoulders. "I changed my mind."_

_Sophie laughed sardonically. "Just like that. Funny how you're only just telling me this when I file for divorce."_

_Sian scoffed before rummaging through her bag which rested against the counter. She walked towards Sophie and shoved a piece of paper in her hands. "There you go. Our appointment card." Sian stepped back, gaging Sophie's reaction. "I think you'll find that I wasn't lying."_

"_I never…"_

"_Do you really think I'd blackmail you with kids?" Sian interrupted her wife._

_Sophie skimmed the details on the card. They matched what Sian had said._

"_You may think I don't notice but I do. I've seen the way you look at Dylan and I know that when we babysit, you just want to keep him." Sian said referring to their next-door neighbour's child. He was only four years old and Sophie always volunteered to babysit him if his parents needed help. "Soph, I'm not an idiot, I know you'll be a great mum. I knew that things had been tough between us so I booked us the appointment. I thought a child would bring us closer together again."_

"_You can't tell me this now Sian." Sophie said, placing her hand against her forehead and sighing heavily. "It's not fair."_

_Sian stepped closer to Sophie once again. "Sophie, look at me." Sophie kept her gaze fixated on the floor, ignoring Sian's pleas. "Tell me that's what you want. A family." Sian placed a finger underneath Sophie's chin and lifted her face, their eyes connecting._

"_I want a family." Sophie said. Sian couldn't help the smile which filled her features. _

"_Tell me you want me."_

_Sophie ducked her head unable to look at Sian. "But I can't do this anymore Sian. I can't do us." Sian flinched as Sophie spoke. "I stopped being your wife a long time ago Sian, time to make it official." Sophie said, walking to their bedroom, even though it hadn't been theirs for so long._

"_You can't just decide this Sophie; I'm not going to just give up." Sian said following Sophie after she had got over the official shock of Sophie's words. In the bedroom Sophie had a suitcase already packed and Sian had no idea when she must have packed it. "Don't do this Sophie." _

_Sophie shook her head and walked out of the bedroom, halting temporarily as Sian grabbed her wrist. "I know you Sophie. You said I was fighting for us because I'm scared, well I know you're scared. You're scared that we can't fix this so you're getting out. Well we can fix this. Soph, baby, we can get back to the way it was. Soph," Sian released Sophie's wrist, pleased that she didn't move. "I love you."_

_Sophie closed her eyes and for a minute, Sian thought she had gotten through to Sophie but she had been mistaken. Sophie opened her eyes again, "it just isn't enough." Sophie left the bedroom and this time Sian didn't follow her. Sian flinched as she heard the door to their house shut and retreated to the bed, sitting against the foot of it, she began to cry softly, knowing that the love of her life wasn't coming back._

Sian's eyes fell on the picture that stood proudly on her bedside table. It was her and Sophie at Blackpool beach when they were 17. It had rained and been freezing but neither girl minded because it was just the two of them, something which didn't often happen. They'd stayed on the beach for hours just being with each other. The persistent cold they had faced afterwards didn't change the fact that for both girls, that was their favourite day.

That photograph represented the only thing Sian had left of Sophie. Memories. She fell asleep with memories, they kept her company and that was how she remembered Sophie. Through memories of their life together, nothing more, nothing less.

It had been four months since Sophie handed Sian the divorce papers and ten months since their marriage had resembled anything like one. The pillow beside Sian didn't smell like Sophie anymore, nothing did. Sophie had moved everything out of the flat quickly leaving no trace of her whatsoever; to an outsider it would look like Sian had always lived alone.

Sian knew that if Sophie wasn't so set on divorce that things would have worked out and that killed her. Sian had received a promotion shortly after Sophie left, how Sian would never understand, she'd hardly been employee of the month but it now meant Sian spent less time in the office and more time working from home. She could have been there for Sophie, if she'd let her. She hardly spoke to Sophie anymore, although not through lack of trying. Sophie had a tendency to ignore her, wanting to move on with her life, the thought destroyed Sian. Sophie wanted to move on, enjoy her life, a life which Sian wasn't a part of.

The sound of the doorbell brought Sian out of her memories and she stole a glance at the clock. It was only 7.45 am, far too early for visitors. Sian was tempted to ignore whoever was outside but they began to persistently ring the doorbell and Sian sighed in frustration, climbing out of bed and heading towards the door.

"Sian, I know you're in there. Open the bloody door now!" Rosie's voice travelled through the door and Sian momentarily stopped. She hadn't really had any contact from the Webster's since Sophie had left, none of them too happy with her for breaking Sophie's heart.

None of them paid attention to the fact that Sophie had actually broken Sian's heart as well. None of them paid attention to the fact that Sian had been hurting for the past four months and she would continue to hurt for the foreseeable future.

Sian threw the door open and Rosie automatically entered the flat. "Come in why don't you." Rosie threw a shut up over her shoulder. "Rosie, what do you want?"

Rosie span around quickly, "it's Sophie."

Sian stiffened. "What about her?" Sian couldn't help it but just from the mention of her name, Sian felt her stomach fill with butterflies.

"She's been in an accident."

"What?" Sian shouted, "is she okay? When? I have to go see her." Sian continuously spoke until Rosie placed her hands on her shoulders, calming her.

"About three days ago, she was involved in a car crash."

"Three days! Why did nobody tell me?" Sian was angry now, shrugging out of Rosie's touch.

"That doesn't matter right now,"

"It matters to me," Sian interrupted. "Why now then?"

"She woke up last night,"

Sian felt relief wash over, "is she okay?" Her voice was soft as she asked.

Rosie nodded, "yeah she'll be fine but there is one problem. She has some memory loss." Sian raised her eyebrows and waited for Rosie to continue.

"Sian, she thinks you're still married."

Sian felt her legs buckle under her slightly but she managed to stay still. Sophie thought they were married. "She's asking for you." At that point Sian's legs gave way but Rosie quickly supported her and stopped her from falling. Sophie wanted to see her. Sian hadn't seen Sophie in four months and now she'd see her and Sophie would think they were still together. Maybe Sophie would never get her memory back and Sian could pretend the divorce never happened. They could be happy again, just like they used to be.

Right?


	2. Chapter 2

Sian paced the hospital corridor as Rosie looked on. It had taken an hour before Sian had allowed Rosie to drive her to the hospital. Sophie, her Sophie, her soon to be ex-wife was injured and thought they were still married. Sian had dreamed of having Sophie back but not like this. She wanted Sophie to have all her memories, even if they were bad ones.

"Why did nobody tell me she'd been in an accident?" Sian asked. "Technically, I'm still her wife; I had a right to know."

"We didn't want to worry you."

Sian scoffed. "You mean Sally told you not to."

Rosie shook her head. Since Sophie had told her and their parents she was divorcing Sian, Sally had sided with her daughter, naturally. Although it took her a while to accept their relationship, over the years she had grown to accept it but she never loved Sian. When she found out about the divorce, she assumed that Sian had hurt her daughter, and as a result had showed her anger towards her daughter-in-law. "Mum was just looking out for Sophie."

"She hates me." Sian stated. "She hates me for breaking her daughter's heart. But she forgets that it was the other way around. Sophie broke mine. I wasn't the one that pushed for divorce. I wasn't the one that said our marriage was over. That doesn't matter to Sally though does it?"

"Mum knows the truth."

"No," Sian's voice increased in volume. "She thinks she does but she only knows what she wants to believe." Sian stopped pacing momentarily. "She ignores the truth because the truth paints her perfect daughter as a quitter. Sophie filed for divorce because she wanted out. I know that, you know that but Sally thinks she left me because I was a terrible wife."

"That's not true."

"Maybe it is." Sian admitted softly. "Maybe I was a terrible wife."

"Sian you've always been a brilliant wife. I just think you've forgotten how good you are." Rosie tried to bring Sian in for a hug but Sian moved out of her touch. "Anyway, that's all in the past, why don't we focus on the present? Sophie wants you."

When Sophie handed her the divorce papers, Sian had felt her heart shatter. Sophie didn't want her anymore and now she does.

"Except she doesn't really and I can't lie to her," Sian said just as Sally and Kevin exited their daughter's room.

"Yes you can," Sally interjected. "And you will."

Sian span around at the sound of Sally's voice. "Why should I do anything that you want?" Sian sneered.

"It's not about what I want. It's about Sophie and what's best for her."

Sian laughed harshly. "What's best for her? You've never thought that was me."

"That's not true."

"Right so you formed that opinion when she left me." Sian stated. "Sophie files for divorce and suddenly I become the root of all evil. Don't lie." Sian could hear her voice getting harsher and harsher the more she spoke. The anger bubbling up inside of her was now spilling out. "Even when we were young, you didn't like me, you thought I corrupted Sophie. We've been together for ten years, married for four, doesn't that tell you that maybe I am what's best for her."

Sally rolled her eyes and ignored Kevin as he told her to calm down. "You were married Sian. Sophie left you; I think that shows you're not what's best for her."

Sian could feel the tears brimming in her eyes but she didn't want to give Sally the satisfaction of making her cry. "If you think she's better off without me, why the hell are you trying to make me pretend that we're still married?" Sian asked. "Surely this is what you want, go tell her the truth. Tell her we're separated. I know you want to."

"I am not pretending for you." Sally said. "I am pretending for my daughter. I saw how upset she was when you separated and I want to protect her from ever feeling like that again. It's not what I want, but she wants you. She still loves you so god damn it, you're going to go in there and you're going to be her wife."

Sian squeezed the bridge of her nose as she exhaled heavily. "At least admit that you blame me."

"I don't blame you Sian." Sally said quickly, although Sian knew she didn't mean it. Sian knew the truth.

Sian scoffed, her anger turning away from Sally and to herself. "Yes you do and why shouldn't you? It is my fault! I was the reason she filed for divorce. I put my job before her. Hell whilst we're tossing blame around, it's probably my fault she's in here."

"Sian," Rosie, Sally and Kevin all said in unison.

"If she hadn't moved out, she would never have been making that journey and she never would have crashed. My fault again." Sian sank against the nearest wall until she sat on the floor, burying her head in her knees.

"None of this your fault," Kevin spoke for the first time and Sian was surprised that he was the first person to speak since her outburst. "These things just happen and nobody is to blame. Sian, you are the best thing that ever happened to her."

"Don't you mean was?" Sian raised her head to look at Kevin. His face was sympathetic and Sian could tell that he was being sincere. Her eyes fell on Sally who was facing away from the pair of them.

"You have a chance to turn back time and correct your mistakes. How many people get that?" Kevin asked before stretching his hands out for Sian to take. After a moment's hesitation she did and Kevin pulled his daughter-in-law up. "Go in there and see your wife."

Sian paused. She hadn't seen Sophie in a month and the last time she saw her, Sophie had walked away from her without listening to what Sian had to say. She inhaled sharply before moving forward slightly as somebody pushed her gently. She wasn't sure who had done it but in honesty, she was grateful for it.

Standing in the door frame, Sian's eyes raked over Sophie as she lay in the hospital bed, her face cut and bruised. Her hand resting over her stomach and a bandage strewn across her skull. Even with her injuries she still looked beautiful. Sian's heart fluttered, seeing her like this made Sian want to cry. God she had missed Sophie so much. She had missed her wife. Sophie turned her head towards the doorway as she felt eyes upon her and a smile soon filled her features.

"Hey," Sian entered the hospital room as Sophie spoke for the first time and just hearing her voice made Sian's heart beat faster. Sophie's smile grew wider as she saw her wife approaching her. "I thought you'd have been here when I woke up."

Sian swallowed hard, she wanted so badly to pretend, to go along with the charade like everybody else but it felt wrong. She knew the truth. Knew that Sophie had stopped loving her and therefore she didn't want to abuse Sophie's trust. What if she played along and Sophie found out? Surely that would make things worse. She could be truthful and tell Sophie about the divorce, tell her how sorry she was. Maybe Sophie would forgive her if she couldn't remember her reasons for being mad at her.

"My mum said she'd sent you home for some sleep."

Sian stared deeply into Sophie's eyes before allowing her gaze to drop to her wife's smile; it felt so good to see that smile again. So she pretended, what was the worst that could happen? She'd get Sophie back and to Sian that was the best thing which could have happened.

"Yeah she did," Sian smiled back, ignoring the feeling of guilt in her stomach.

"Do I not even get a kiss?" Sophie cheekily replied, beckoning Sian over. Sian froze on the spot, the guilt in her stomach growing enormously but Sian had longed to be this close to Sophie for months and she wasn't about to let the opportunity pass.

Sian nodded and moved towards Sophie, bending down and bringing their lips together for the first time in months. Just like the last kiss they had shared, it was soft and over quickly but both girls could feel the love in it. Sian smiled as she realised that Sophie still felt something for her deep down. Sure her memory may have gone but her feelings remained intact.

"I love you," Sian said the words without thinking.

Sophie's lips curled up into a smile. "I love you too." Sian couldn't help the smile that escaped her own lips as she heard the words she hadn't heard in months, before she crashed them against Sophie's, her tongue delving into Sophie's mouth.

Sophie pushed her away softly and Sian's face dropped. "What's wrong?" Sian asked, immediately thinking Sophie had remembered.

"Nothing," Sophie said, "I just don't think me mum and dad will appreciate it if they walk in to your tongue down my neck." Sian smirked at how Sophie sounded like she did when she was a teenager.

"Right, good point." Sian said as she stepped backwards. "Although I think your mum's already pretty much scarred from walking in on us, one kiss won't do much damage."

Sophie laughed heartily, the sound making Sian beam. "True but it will scar me dad. I'm still his little girl."

Sian nodded before remembering that Sophie had been in a car crash. "I'm such an idiot; I haven't even asked how you are."

"I'm okay," Sophie replied honestly. "My head hurts like hell and I'm in pain every time I breathe but I'll survive. Nothing too bad luckily."

Sian felt the guilt resurface. _'Nothing too bad' _If only she knew the truth, she might take that sentence back. "I'm glad, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." Sian said, finding it slightly easier to pretend the more time she spent with Sophie. Finding it almost like old times.

"Hey," Sophie said as she cupped Sian's cheek. "I'm not going anywhere."

Sian was about to reply when she heard the door open and Rosie walked in. "Alright babe, how are you feeling?"

Sophie turned her head to face Rosie. "I'll live."

"Jason's been proper worried, bless him." Rosie said before taking a file out of her handbag and filing her nails. "He's been all over me like in that really protective way."

"Mollycoddling?" Sian suggested.

"That's the one," Rosie agreed. "I think he's worried that this might happen to me. I mean seriously, I don't even drive, how am I supposed to get in a car crash."

Sophie and Sian both laughed at Rosie's comment before all three of them fell into a light conversation. Rosie sat in the chair opposite Sophie's bed whilst Sian took a position on the bed next to Sophie, holding her hand and playing with her fingers.

"Rosie, can you give us a minute please." Sophie suddenly chirped up, causing both Rosie and Sian to share a worried look before Rosie nodded and left the room, saying she would go and get a cup of tea.

"Is something wrong?" Sian asked, subconsciously tightening her hold on Sophie's hand.

"Yeah of course something's wrong." Sophie stated matter-of-factly. "I can't remember the last seven months Sian." Sian opened her mouth to speak but Sophie interrupted her. "It's the 7th June Sian; I can't remember anything since my birthday."

"_Soph?" Sian called out for her wife as soon as she walked through the door. The house seemed strangely quiet. Sian threw her suit jacket over the couch before placing the present in her bag before walking towards their bedroom. "Sophie?"_

_Pushing open the bedroom door, Sian felt her mouth fall open as she caught sight of her wife standing in front the mirror. She was wearing a black dress which clung perfectly to her curves and she looked beautiful. Sophie span around as she felt eyes upon her._

"_Wow, you look amazing." Sian said as she walked towards Sophie, kissing her softly. _

"_Thank you." Sophie felt a slight blush fill her cheeks as Sian's eyes raked over her body. She could see Sian's eyes darken and she loved that after ten years together she still had this much of an effect on Sian._

"_Happy birthday baby." Sian kissed Sophie once more. "I'll just go get changed into something a little bit sexier." Sian said as she pointed to her work clothes, she was currently wearing a pinstriped suit. Sophie smirked slightly; she had always found Sian sexy in her work clothes. "I've booked us a table at your favourite restaurant." Sian pecked her wife's lips before heading towards the bathroom._

"_The Golden Dragon?" Sophie said, a smile gracing her lips before letting it drop._

"_Yeah." Sian said as she shouted through from their bathroom._

"_You might have to change it from two to six." Sophie said waiting for Sian to emerge._

_Sian came out of the bathroom, taking off her top as she walked towards the wardrobe in search of her outfit. "What? Why?"_

"_I kind of invited some friends." Sophie looked at the ground and scuffed her feet. She felt like a naughty child confessing to their parents._

_Sian closed the wardrobe door and placed her hands on her hips. "Why have you done that? It's just supposed to be me and you."_

_Sophie smoothed down her dress. "I didn't think you'd be here." She said it so quietly Sian wasn't sure she heard her. "I thought you'd be working."_

"_I took the night off so we could celebrate your birthday." Sian stated. "Did you really think I'd miss your birthday?" _

_Sophie stayed silent and that gave Sian her answer. "Right, very nice of you babe." Sian grabbed her top from the bed before pulling it on._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_I'm going back to work." Sian said. "You have a good night with your friends." Sian took the present out of her bag before handing it to her wife. "Happy birthday."_

"_Sian, don't do this." Sophie said as she followed Sian through their home. "I'll cancel with my friends; it can just be me and you."_

"_So I can be second best?" Sian grabbed her jacket before shrugging it on. "No thank you."_

_Sophie shook her head as she watched Sian approach the front door. "You're not second best Sian. Let me just call them, it will only take a second."_

_Sian turned around, her hand on the door handle. "No you go have fun, like you said, I should be working." She opened the door before slamming it behind her._

_Sophie flinched as the door slammed and she instantly felt horrible. Sian had wanted to spend time with her, something which had been absence recently and Sophie ruined it. She unwrapped the present and pulled out the contents._

_Sophie smiled as she held the teddy bear in her hands. The bear was wearing a t-shirt which said I love you. Sian hated those kinds of gifts, she felt they were too cheesy but she knew how much Sophie loved them. In the bear's right hand was a small box. Sophie opened it and took out the necklace which rested there. The necklace contained a small topaz pendant, her birthstone. Sophie felt the guilt fill her stomach as she held Sian's present, suddenly not in the mood for going out._

"Sian, I was a bitch to you that night." Sophie said as her fingers casually played with Sian's.

Sian smiled. They had talked the very next day and both apologised. Sophie apologised for thinking that Sian would work instead of coming home and Sian apologised for acting like a sulky child. Sian had even taken Sophie away the following weekend to show that things were okay between them. That was probably the last time, their marriage had been happy. "It's okay, I forgave you straight away."

"Right of course." Sophie chuckled slightly. "It was seven months ago, it feels like yesterday to me."

"Me too." Sian said the words just quiet enough so that Sophie wouldn't hear her. Since Sophie had left, Sian was left with the memories. She tried to remember the good times they had shared but more often than not, her mind would be filled with one of the many arguments they had shared in the last few months. Each one fresh and vivid in her mind.

"I can't believe I've forgotten seven months. I have no memories for over half a year." Sophie said sadly.

Sian placed a soft kiss on Sophie's forehead. "We'll make new memories."

"What about the ones I've forgotten?"

"Trust me," Sian started. "You haven't forgotten any good ones."

Sophie smiled slightly, feeling comforted by her wife's words. Her eyes slowly began to close and Sian could hear her breathing level out, signalling she had fallen asleep. Sian carefully pried herself away from Sophie, not wanting to disturb her and went to find Rosie who she hoped would be in the corridor.

Sian didn't need to look far for Rosie as she appeared no sooner than Sian had closed Sophie's bedroom door.

"What did she want to talk to you about?" Rosie asked but before Sian could answer, she saw Sophie's doctor walking towards, a smile on his face.

"Hello, I'm Doctor White, are you Mrs Webster's family?" He asked as Sally and Kevin walked towards us so we stood in a huddle.

"Yes, we're her parents; this is her sister and her wife." Sally introduced everybody quickly and Sian smiled as she was introduced as Sophie's wife. In her eyes, that was what she would always be. Even when the divorce became finalised, nobody would ever compare to Sophie and Sian didn't want them to. She would always be Sophie's, even if Sophie wasn't hers anymore. "Is she going to be okay?"

"She's going to be fine." Doctor White said. "The scans show no internal bleeding and she's respondent and coherent and shows no sign of brain damage. She's been lucky, things could have been a lot worse."

"But she can't remember the last seven months. The last thing she remembers is her birthday and that was in November." Sian said.

The doctor nodded in sympathy. "Sophie has retrograde amnesia as a result of the head injury she sustained in the car accident."

"What does that mean?" Rosie asked.

"Sophie had lost her most recent memories. Her remote memories are all still intact which is why she can remember who she is and all her family and friends but the last few months before the accident have disappeared from her memory." Doctor White explained.

"Will her memories come back?" Sian asked and she couldn't stop wondering whether Sophie would remember their impending divorce.

Doctor White shook his head. "I can't give you a definitive answer I'm afraid. It's very possible that her memories will be restored but then it's also just as possible that she won't ever remember the last few months. Every patient is different."

"But other than that, she'll be okay right?" Sally spoke once again, wanting to double check with the doctor.

"She has several broken ribs and facial lacerations but overall she has been very lucky." Doctor White's analysis of Sophie's injuries was met with relieved sighs from everybody. "We need to keep her here for a couple of nights for more observation but I don't see any problem with her going home in a few days."

"Thank you Doctor." Kevin shook his hand enthusiastically before hugging Sally.

Sian walked towards Sophie's room and stared through the window. She was still asleep, her body was hooked up to machines and she looked so peaceful and innocent. Sian had hurt her once before, she wasn't going to let that happen again.

"I can't do this."


	3. Chapter 3

"I can't do this," Sian said as she buried her head in her hands. She had been repeating that one sentence to herself for several minutes, constantly looking into Sophie's room at her wife, her stomach filling with guilt every time.

"I thought you wanted our Soph," Rosie asked as she stood beside Sian.

"I do," Sian said. "God Rosie, you know I do."

"Then what's the problem?"

Sian raised her head so she was looking directly at Rosie. "She was divorcing me Rosie! She told me that we didn't have a marriage anymore. For the past four months she has told me to leave her alone, told me she wants to move on. She didn't want to be with me anymore."

"And now she does."

Sian laughed. "Yeah because she can't remember leaving me."

"She just couldn't deal with everything, you were never home and she felt like she was losing you. She was scared that the stress of work would push you over the edge and she couldn't stick around to watch that."

"Why didn't she just talk to me?"

Rosie placed a hand on Sian's shoulder. "Where you ever there to listen?"

Sian closed her eyes and rested her back against the window. "I should have been." Sian said. "I should have been the wife she deserved."

"Can I ask you something?" Sian nodded at Rosie's request. "I know you love Sophie, you always have. But I've been wondering about this since she left you, why did you put work before her?"

Sian opened her eyes and looked at Rosie who was staring at her intently, waiting for an answer. She knew the answer to that question but she didn't want to go into it right now. At first she thought the reason why she worked so much was a good one but if it lost her Sophie, maybe it wasn't for the best. She always put Sophie first, even when Sophie didn't realise it.

"It's a long story."

Rosie accepted the answer, knowing that it was all she was going to get.

"She fell out of love with me and suddenly she loves me again." Sian said. "Do you know how hard that is for me to comprehend?"

Rosie laughed a little. "Are you really that naïve?" Sian raised her eyebrow at Rosie. "She never fell out of love with you, even when she left you, she still loved you. She always will."

"Really?"

Rosie nodded. "Yes, really."

Sian rested her forehead against the glass. Her head was spinning and she couldn't deal with everything that was happening. This morning she had woken up to an empty bed and that was what she had expected her life to be like from now on. Now there's the possibility that in a few days' time, she'll wake up next to Sophie.

The last six months of their relationship may have been rocky but the first four years of their marriage had been amazing. So had their entire ten year relationship. They never really had any problems before, only a few pesky arguments here and there. Nothing serious. The last six months should have been nothing more than a blip on their radar; they should have been able to move past it.

It shouldn't have broken them.

"How am I supposed to tell her that we were in the middle of getting a divorce?"

Rosie raised her eyebrow. "Um babes, you don't."

"But –"

"But nothing." Rosie interrupted. "Sophie's happy, she loves you and that's all she needs to know." Sian stayed quiet, not sure whether she should take heed of Rosie's advice. "If you want to do something, talk to her about your problems without mentioning how bad it got."

"Hey Soph I know I've been working a lot but things will change. We don't need a divorce." Sian replied sarcastically.

"Now you're being ridiculous."

Sian stepped away from the window and threw her hands up into the air. "This whole situation is ridiculous. Sophie forgets that she didn't want to be married to me and I'm supposed to just go along with the whole thing, even though I remember everything." Sian's voice grew steadily louder as she spoke. "I remember how my heart broke when she told me it was over, how she would hardly look at me, how even when we were married, we barely touched. I remember everything Rosie and now I'm supposed to just forget that that all happened."

"Sian," Rosie said as she moved closer to Sian and gathered her in her arms. "Nobody's saying you have to forget but Sophie has and you have a second chance. You've wanted that since the divorce, now you have it. Don't waste it." Rosie heard Sian release a small sob so she held her tighter.

"What if she remembers?" Sian's voice was incredibly soft and Rosie felt for the younger girl. "Rosie, I can't lose her again. You have no idea how hard it was the first time."

"You heard the doctor, she might never remember."

"Yeah but she might."

Sian felt Rosie place a soft kiss on the top of her head. "Isn't Sophie worth that risk?"

"Sian," the girls broke apart at Sally's voice. "Sophie's asking for you."

Sian nodded before looking back at Rosie who mouthed 'go on.' Sian nodded once again before walking in the direction of Sophie's room. She froze outside the door momentarily, collecting herself before entering the room with a smile on her face. "Hey."

"There you are," Sophie said as she sat up slightly, a smile filling her features. "I thought you'd gone."

"Where would I go without you hey?" Sian said before sitting in the chair next to Sophie.

"What are you doing over there?" Sophie asked before moving over on the bed a little, grimacing and holding onto her ribs.

"Don't move babe." Sian rushed over to Sophie's side and placed her hands on her shoulders stalling her. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"You always were good at looking after me." Sophie allowed Sian's hands to gently push her back against the bed. "My own personal nurse."

_Sophie raised her head off the pillow as she heard the front door open but it soon hit the pillow once more as she realised how much effort it took to lift her head. Her whole body ached. She had come down with a bout of flu three days ago and she felt awful. Her muscles ached, she had no appetite, she constantly got the chills and when she finally fell asleep, she woke up constantly, unable to stay asleep for more than an hour or two._

"_Hey baby." Sophie smiled weakly as she heard her wife enter the bedroom. She wanted to look up and give her a smile but she didn't have the energy. "How are you feeling?" Sian walked around to Sophie's side of the bed and kissed her softly on the forehead. "God, you're still really warm." Sian placed her hand against Sophie's forehead. "Maybe I should take you to the doctors."_

"_You can make them come here."_

_Sian laughed heartily. "I didn't realise you were such a diva."_

_Sophie managed a small smile. "I'm too exhausted to even move Sian." Sian nodded. "I feel so ill." _

"_I know baby." Sian kissed Sophie's forehead once more. "I wish I could make it better."_

"_You being here is a start."_

_Sian grinned at her girlfriend. "Are you cold?" Sophie shook her head. "Right well that's a good start, I'm going to go make you some hot water with lemon and get you some paracetamol." Sian stood and walked towards the door. "Don't go anywhere."_

_Sophie managed a weak laugh as Sian left the room. Sian had been amazing since Sophie had fallen ill; she had taken time off work just so she could look after Sophie. Sophie had been demanding quite recently, always asking for water or a hot drink. One minute telling Sian she felt too cold and then saying she felt too hot when Sian gave her a blanket. Always waking Sian up in the middle of the night through tossing and turning. She knew that she was tiring Sian out and she felt guilty but right now she was too ill to feel that guilty. When she felt better she would apologise._

"_One hot water with lemon and two paracetamol." Sian said as she placed the mug of water on the bedside table, giving Sophie the two tablets. Sophie took them and brought them to her mouth before waiting for Sian to give her the drink. "I'll hold it." Sian smiled and held the mug to Sophie's mouth allowing her to take a sip. "Do you feel any better?" Sian asked as she placed the mug back on the table._

"_Give it a minute to work babe." Sian laughed before leaning down to kiss her wife. "Don't, you'll get sick."_

_Sian shrugged her shoulders. "I'll chance it; I had the flu shot last week. Didn't want to fall ill." Sian smirked before pressing her lips against Sophie's briefly. _

_Sian walked around to her side of the bed and climbed in, wrapping her arm around Sophie's waist instantly. _

"_I'm sorry for making you miss work." _

_Sian leant over and kissed her wife on her cheek. "Don't you dare apologise for being ill." Sophie rolled over so she was facing Sian, trying to ignore the ache which surged through her entire body at the simplest movement. "Remember, I'm here, in sickness and in health."_

"_Till death us do part." Sophie finished._

"_Yeah, till death us do part." Sian pecked her wife's lips briefly again. "Soph, you're my wife. You come first. Always."_

"_Promise?"_

_Sian smiled, her hand finding her wife's underneath the bed sheets. "I promise."_

Sian had promised that Sophie would always come first but she had chosen work instead of Sophie towards the end of their marriage. Sian had been working towards her promotion because she knew that it would mean more money and more time at home with Sophie, which is what she wanted more than anything.

She only ever worked as hard as she did so that she could earn enough money to look after Sophie. But Sophie didn't see it like that because they never talked. Sophie saw it as Sian wanting to spend more time at work then with her and Sian knew that. She wished that they would have talked about it instead of bottling everything up until it spilled out and resulted in nearly divorce. She wished Sophie knew the truth.

She would never make the mistake of not talking to Sophie again, not after seeing the consequences of it.

"So when I come home, do I get my personal nurse back?" Sophie asked with a small wink and Sian could hear the flirtatious tone her voice held.

"I can see someone's feeling better." Sian joked. "You're already making me your slave."

"I'm injured. I need somebody to look after me."

Sian laughed at her wife before grabbing her hand. "Well when you put it like that, how can I possibly turn you down?"

Sophie laughed at her wife before nodding her head. "Does that mean you'll look after me?"

"Yes, of course I will." Sian replied. "Whatever you want."

"Okay so how is this going to work?" Sian said as she entered Rosie's bedroom, giving Jason a small wave as he settled back down on the sofa to watch the football.

She had left Sophie to get some rest after watching her eyes close during their conversation about TV. Sophie didn't want to tackle the big questions like what had happened for the past five months until she felt better and Sian was only too willing to oblige. Instead they kept the conversation light, sharing the odd kiss every now and again. Sian maintained her position next to Sophie on her bed and didn't shift when Sally, Kevin or Rosie came in to talk to Sophie. It felt good being that close to Sophie again and all the Webster's, even Sally, couldn't help but smile as they saw the two women.

They had always been perfect for each other. They were meant to be.

"What do you mean?" Rosie asked keeping her gaze on the mirror as she applied some make-up.

"Well Sophie left me, took all her stuff." Sian began, absent-mindedly playing with her engagement and wedding rings. "She's expecting to come back to our flat except she doesn't have anything there."

Rosie glanced at Sian through the mirror. "Well that's not a problem, take her stuff from here and move it back."

"Okay, how about the fact that I got promoted three months ago? How am I supposed to explain to her that I suddenly have a new job?"

"Tell her that you already told her about it." Rosie suggested. "Or if that fails, tell her it was going to be a surprise. I'm sure she remembers things were tense between you so tell her that you knew the promotion would help because it meant more time at home. More time with her."

"What about her solicitor?"

"Tell him you've decided to work on your issues instead of getting a divorce."

"Why is this all so simple for you?" Sian said as she sat down on Rosie's bed.

Rosie put down her mascara and turned around. "Because babes, it is. You love Sophie and Sophie loves you."

Sian shook her head, "and if she finds out about the divorce?"

"Why would she?" Rosie said, picking her mascara back up again. "You're not going to tell her, I'm not going to tell her and neither will mum and dad." Sian tried to speak again but Rosie continued. "I know they were frosty to you when they first found out about you and Sophie but they love you together now. They know you're the best thing for her. Even mum."

"Yeah but what if I'm not?" Sian asked. "What if Sally was right? What if Sophie was? What if I put work before her again?"

"You won't," Rosie stated.

"Why not?"

"Because," Rosie said as she finished applying her make-up and standing up, looking at Sian. "You know what it's like to lose her. You won't let that happen again."

"I can't believe I'm actually going ahead with this." Sian said. "If she ever finds out, that's it for us. No going back. Maybe I should just tell her the truth and we can try and work things out before the divorce is finalised. I mean lying to her isn't going to help the predicament."

"Sian, nobody gets this second chance and you want to waste it." Rosie left the bedroom and emerged several minutes later holding a bundle of clothes. "Are we going to do this?"

"Yeah." Sian inhaled sharply. "We are."


	4. Chapter 4

"And here we are." Sian placed her wife's hand on her shoulder, allowing Sophie to lean against her. She was still fragile since the accident and Sian wanted to do everything in her power to make sure Sophie was comfortable and nothing hurt her. Sian placed her wife's hospital bag down before closing the door and helping her wife over to the sofa. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Sophie said. "Just like I was two minutes ago and the other twenty times you've asked me since we left the hospital."

"I just want to make sure you're not in pain."

"Sian," Sophie rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Honestly I'm fine; you don't need to ask me every few seconds." Although Sian could see her annoyance, she also heard the light tone in her voice showing that she wasn't mad.

"Sorry." Sian said.

"Don't be. It's nice that you care." Sophie smiled. "You just don't need to care all the time."

"Do you need anything?"

"I need you to sit down and stop fussing over me. I'm not an invalid." Sophie smirked and watched as her wife smiled bashfully before taking a seat next to her. "I feel better already."

"I'm glad I could help."

Sophie grabbed her wife's hand and immediately entwined their fingers. "I bet my mum has been annoying you these last few days. You must have been spending loads of time together. I know that's your ideal way to spend a day." Sophie smiled slightly.

Sian stilled and allowed Sophie to play with her fingers. Sophie wouldn't remember how Sally had blamed Sian and she wasn't even sure whether Sophie knew that Sally had paid her a visit and spat words of anger at her because of the divorce. The argument the pair shared still lay fresh in Sian's mind.

_A ferocious knock caused Sian to bring the glass of wine from her lips and place it on the table. In truth, Sian was grateful for that knock because the glass of wine was only the beginning. She already had the bottle of wine sitting beside her and she knew full well that soon that bottle would be empty. Sian had another bottle chilling in the fridge but she didn't want to start on that one too. She didn't want Sophie leaving her to lead her into alcoholism._

_The knock came again, only this time louder. Sian groaned before walking towards the door and opening it. She found herself surprised by the person on the other side._

"_How could you?" Sally screamed at Sian as she forced her way past her, walking towards the kitchen. "How dare you hurt my daughter?"_

_Sian blinked harshly as Sally launched into another outburst about how Sian had destroyed Sophie. Since Sophie had left her last week, the only Webster who had spoken to her was Rosie and that was only to hear both sides of the stories. They all sided with Sophie, not that it was any surprise to Sian. She knew they would. At least Rosie showed her some sympathy._

"_Sally, what do you want?" _

_Sally span around quickly and Sian could see the anger which resided behind her eyes. "I want you to tell me why you hurt my little girl."_

"_She hurt me." Sian spoke so softly that Sally had to strain her ears to hear._

"_She hurt you? That's why she came to me crying her eyes out and told us that your marriage was over because she hurt you. Personally I think it's the other way around."_

"_Well personally, I don't think it's any of your business." Sian bit back._

"_Sophie's my daughter. That makes it my business. Now tell me what you did."_

_Sian closed her eyes momentarily before opening them and grabbing the door handle, opening it. "Ask Sophie."_

_Sally crossed her arms and stayed where she was. "I'm asking you." She said. "And you can close that door because if you think I'm leaving before you give me a full explanation, then you are very wrong."_

_Sian closed the door in compliance but didn't move further into the house. "It's pretty simple, she's filed for divorce." Sian stated. "End of story."_

"_Don't you dare act sarcastic with me." _

"_Well what do you want me to say?" Sian asked in annoyance. "What happened is between Sophie and me, nobody else."_

_Sally scoffed. "When my daughter comes home crying, it becomes my problem." Sian stayed silent. "Now tell me the truth."_

"_I just have!" Sian shouted back. "It's not my fault if you don't believe me."_

"_Who's Kelly?" Sian's eyes widened at the name. How the hell did Sally know about her? Sally registered the look of shock which had filled Sian's face. "I'm waiting."_

"_Kelly's a work colleague."_

"_I swear to God Sian, if you cheated on her."_

"_Why does everybody think I'd cheat on her?" Sian screamed. "I love Sophie."_

"_So you didn't?" _

_Sian released a frustrated scream. "Of course not. I would never cheat on her."_

"_Well then I don't understand." Sally said as she paced the kitchen. "We only saw you last month and you were happy."_

"_It was pretend." Sian began and Sally gestured for her to continue. "We'd been going through a rocky patch for a while. When we saw other people, we pretended we didn't have any problems. It was easier that way, nobody would ask any questions._ _We didn't want anybody to know so we pretended to still be a happily married couple."_

"_But you weren't?"_

"_I was happy. Sure we had a rocky patch but every couple has that. I thought we'd get through it. It would just be like any other argument we'd had. Eventually things would go back to the way they had been before" Sian said sadly. "But Sophie didn't want to try and work things out. She wanted a divorce."_

"_And you didn't do anything?"_

_Sian threw her hands up in the air. "If you've just come round to accuse me, you can get out. I'm telling you the truth here. I don't need to tell you anything but I am."_

_Sally opened her mouth to speak before her eyes caught sight of the bottle of wine which rested on the kitchen counter. "Afternoon drinking now. This is what you're doing instead of trying to get Sophie back."_

"_Your daughter doesn't want to speak to me so yes, if you don't mind, I would like to get back to my glass of wine."_

_Sally shook her head but moved towards the door which Sian had re-opened. "I know we've had our problems in the past but I accepted your relationship because I thought you loved Sophie. But if you're willing to sit back and let Sophie go without a fight…"_

"_Let her go without a fight?" Sian interrupted Sally quickly. "Do you think I want this? Don't you think I tried to stop her from leaving me? She was adamant about wanting the divorce." Sian continued. "I didn't let her go, she let me go. But I'm sure you love that, you've always thought she'd be better off without me. Got your wish now haven't you!"_

"_You're right; I don't think you're what is best for Sophie but she always told me I was wrong. Now you're getting a divorce so Sophie's finally realised it too so I guess I was right about you." Sally stepped outside the door but turned around one last time. "Sophie's better off without you."_

_Sian slammed the door shut and shut Sally out of her life. She had lost Sophie, she knew that. She didn't need to be reminded from her mother-in-law. Well soon to be ex-mother-in-law._

_Sian walked back to the counter and picked up the glass of wine, draining it in one go. She grasped the bottle tightly before throwing it against a nearby wall. Hearing it smash, Sian sank down against the wall, burying her head in her hands and allowed herself to cry._

"We've been getting along okay." Sophie raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Well you know, as well as we do."

"You must be shattered."

Sian furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

Sophie looked at her whilst smiling. "My mum said you've been at the hospital since the accident, I'm guessing you haven't slept much."

Sian closed her eyes. The lies were spinning more and more out of control. What if Sian slipped up? What if Sophie asked her something and Sian couldn't answer? What if Sophie started remembering little bits and pieces that didn't fit in with what everybody had told her?

"I'm okay. Don't worry about me." Sian said as she brushed Sophie's hair out of her eyes with her free hand. "You're the one that needs to be looked after."

"Maybe it's time you got your own personal nurse." Sophie smiled widely and Sian couldn't help but mirror her actions.

"Maybe it is." Sian agreed. "But only when you're fully recuperated."

Sophie's face suddenly went serious. "Can I ask you something?"

Sian felt nerves wash over her entire body as her pulse quickened. "Of course."

"I know I don't remember the last seven months but I remember us arguing quite a bit, we were going through a rocky patch." Sophie said. "I'm guessing that we've sorted everything out in the last seven months."

Sian took a deep breath. "Yeah we sorted everything out. My promotion helped a lot because it meant that I could spend more time at home." Sian pecked the tip of Sophie's nose. "More time with you and I think that was what we both needed."

"Right," Sophie nodded. "The promotion that I can't even remember. What sort of wife can't remember something like that?"

"Hey," Sian cupped her wife's cheek. "It's not your fault you can't remember. Don't stress yourself out over it."

Sophie nodded and moved closer to Sian allowing Sian to wrap her arms around the younger girl. Sian allowed Sophie's scent of vanilla to reach her nostrils. "It makes me think you know."

"About what?"

"What else I've forgotten." Sophie said. "I mean what happened in those seven months."

Sian closed her eyes and tightened her hold around Sophie. She wasn't prepared for that question and had no idea what to tell Sophie. She couldn't make up more lies; she was worried that she was getting too good at it. "I'm sure your memories will come back babe."

"Maybe." Sophie raised her head from Sian's chest so she was looking directly at her. "But I don't really want to wait. Maybe you can tell me."

"Now?"

Sophie shook her head and cuddled back into Sian. "One day."

Sian couldn't help but feel as though she had just dodged a bullet and unfortunately there was going to be another influx of bullets shortly.

"Rosie, I know I said I can do this but I can't." Sian said down the phone as she walked towards the corner shop to get a pint of milk. Sian hadn't really been the best at keeping up with the shopping since Sophie left and as a result most of the everyday items were non-existent in the flat. Luckily Sian had been able to pretend that her constant visits to the hospital had left no time for food shopping.

Luckily Sophie believed her but had told her to go and do some shopping.

"_Why? What's happened?"_

"It's just too difficult now we're living together again. I mean in the hospital, I'd only have to lie whenever I visited her, now I have to lie all the time."

"_A lie is a lie Sian." Rosie said softly. "Doesn't matter how often you tell it."_

"She said eventually she wants me to tell her what she's forgotten." Sian explained. "What the hell am I supposed to tell her?"

Sian heard Rosie mutter something to Jason before replying. _"Just dodge the question and if it comes up, change the subject."_

Sian laughed. "So I'm supposed to pussy foot around the topic for the rest of our lives." Sian asked. "Grow up Rosie, that's not going to happen."

"_Well then I think you know what you're going to have to tell her."_

Sian closed her eyes and inhaled sharply. "Yeah. More lies." Sian said. She hated the lies, it was just one after another and soon the happy marriage she had re-created would come crashing down around her.

She knew that.

She was just waiting for it to happen.

"It just feels as though things are back to normal with us now she's back in our house." Sian said.

"_Well that's good, normal is what you want."_

"Yeah I guess."

Sian heard Rosie sigh heavily down the phone. _"Don't guess. You have to know what you want otherwise you're not going to get it."_ Sian stayed silent on the other end of the phone and waited for Rosie to speak again. _"So, what is it you want?"_

Sian stopped outside the corner shop. "I want Sophie."

"_I think I've fulfilled my role of advice giving."_

"Thank you Rosie."

"_I'm always here Sian. Now, go be a brilliant wife." _Sian smiled as she heard Rosie bid a quick goodbye before disconnecting the call.

When Sian got back to their house after picking up the milk and also a spontaneous bar of galaxy, Sophie's favourite, Sophie was fast asleep on the sofa. Sian's mind flashed back to how that sofa had become Sophie's permanent bed towards the end of their marriage, she didn't want Sophie sleeping there this time around.

Although she felt guilty about waking her up, Sian placed a kiss on Sophie's forehead before whispering her name softly.

Sophie's eyes fluttered open and she smiled sleepily. "I fell asleep."

Sian smiled back at her wife. "I guess without my witty and enticing conversation, you got bored."

Sophie laughed heartily, "I guess so."

"I didn't want to wake you but you'd be comfier in bed." Sian said as Sophie sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes.

"Sian Powers, are you trying to seduce me?" Sophie replied, a flirtatious tone to her voice.

"Would I do that?" Sian smirked in response causing Sophie to look away bashfully. "Come on." Sian extended her hand and pulled Sophie up to a standing position, making sure to be as gentle as possible.

As Sophie climbed into bed, occupying her side of the bed, Sian smiled. It was the first time she'd slept in that bed for as long as Sian could remember and Sian had missed the sight.

"I'm just going to give you a bit of space." Sian said as she moved away from the bed but was stopped by Sophie grabbing her hand.

"Stay with me." Sophie whispered softly.

Sian complied and climbed into the bed beside Sophie, wrapping her arm around her wife's waist, making sure not to hurt her.

For the first time in months, they fell asleep together. Both finding it very easy to drift off in each other's company.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you for the comments and Devilsspy, that's a good idea. You'll have to wait and see if it is the truth.**

Sian's eyes fluttered open as she felt a glimmer of sunlight pass over her face. She rubbed her eyes tiredly before rolling over to be greeted with a still sleeping Sophie. It had been two weeks since Sophie had come home from the hospital and their relationship had been better than ever. It was like the honeymoon period of their marriage all over again.

Sian propped herself up on her right elbow and watched as her wife slept. These past two weeks she couldn't get used to the fact that every morning she would wake up next to Sophie and every night they would go to sleep together. But that was all they'd do, sleep. Sian wanted Sophie in every way possible but she didn't want to rush Sophie. She wanted to make sure that it was what Sophie wanted.

Truth was though that Sian longed to feel Sophie again.

"Stop watching me sleep." Sophie opened her eyes to look at her wife. "It's creepy."

Sian pecked Sophie's lips softly. "I can't help it. I love watching you sleep." Sophie raised her eyebrow and Sian backtracked. "You know, not like a stalker."

Sophie chuckled before rubbing her eyes. "What time is it?"

Sian looked over her shoulder. "Just after 11."

"It's nice waking up next to you." Sophie confessed. "I mean I know we've always done it but when things were rocky, I slept on the sofa, right?"

"You remember that?"

Sophie nodded. "I guess my memories are starting to come back. Isn't that great?"

Sian gulped hard. "Yeah, that's fantastic news babe." Sian tried to make sure that the panic she felt didn't show on her face. "How about tonight, we order a takeaway and watch a couple of movies. Just the two of us." Sian suggested, desperate to change the topic. The prospect of Sophie remembering frightened her to death.

"Sounds perfect." Sophie said before kissing her wife. "I'm just going to jump in the shower. Won't be long." Sophie jumped out of the bed before turning back around. "Unless of course you want to join me?"

Sian could hear the flirtatious tone in her wife's voice. "I would love to, but I haven't got time." Sian admitted sadly, she wanted to share a shower with Sophie but she had promised to meet Rosie. She had promised to keep Rosie updated on Sophie's situation and in turn Rosie would tell Sally and Kevin.

"Your loss." Sophie replied cheekily.

Sian watched as her wife left their bedroom, a feeling of dread filling her stomach. This couldn't be it. Sophie couldn't be starting to remember because if that was true then that would mean she'd remember the divorce and that would be the end of their marriage.

Only this time, indefinitely.

"She remembers sleeping on the couch!" Sian shouted as she paced Rosie's flat.

"So what?"

Sian stopped pacing and looked at Rosie. "Sophie started sleeping on the couch two months before she filed for divorce. That means she's starting to remember Rosie." Sian explained, worry and panic lacing her voice. "God, I knew I shouldn't have gone along with this. It's ridiculous."

"Sian calm down." Rosie said. "Just because she remembers one thing doesn't mean her memories will come flooding back. Has she started acted any differently towards you?"

Sian shook her head, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "No, things have been great."

"There you go then. Don't start panicking because if you panic, you're going to mess up." Rosie placed her hands on Sian's shoulder's keeping her still. "And Sian, you can't mess up."

"So what films are we watching?" Sian asked as she took a seat next to Sophie, placing the open pizza box on the coffee table in front of them.

"I thought we'd do a comedy and then a romantic comedy." Sophie explained. "I'm not in the mood for a horror movie. Is that okay?"

"Whatever you want babe, I'm happy with anything." Sian said as she took the DVDs from Sophie. "Cool Runnings and Hitch."

"You can change them if you want."

Sian smiled and shook her head. "No, these are fine. You know how I feel about Will Smith."

"Please," Sophie smirked. "You're well looking at Eva Mendes."

"Wait," Sian began. "You know." She muttered a small damn under her breath and smiled as Sophie laughed. "I guess I'll have to find another girl to ogle."

Sophie pressed play on the remote and allowed the titles to Cool Runnings to fill the screen before resting her head against Sian's shoulder as Sian wrapped an arm around her back. "Don't worry, you can always ogle me."

Sian pressed a kiss against Sophie's forehead before grabbing a slice of pizza. "Don't worry, I will."

"_Basic principles: there are none."_

The credits of Hitch began to roll and Sian heard Sophie laugh as the film showed the characters dancing beside the credits. Hitch had always been one of Sophie's favourite films; she loved how it made relationships seem so simple. If you follow certain rules, you'll get the person you want.

If only life was that simple.

Sophie began to fiddle with Sian's fingers nervously as she kept her gaze on the screen. "Sian?" Sian hummed in response. Sophie pried herself away from the comfort of Sian and extended her hand. "Come on."

Sian looked at her wife and knew what she was trying to imply, she wanted to go to bed. This is what used to happen whenever they'd watch a movie; it would always end up in sex. Sian swallowed nervously but grabbed her wife's hand and allowed Sophie to lead her through to their bedroom. Sophie felt incredibly nervous as she released Sian's hand and kissed her. She knew that Sian would never initiate more intimacy because she wanted it to be her choice, so she wanted to show Sian that she was ready.

Sophie moaned as she felt Sian's tongue touch her own and she felt Sian pushing her backwards until the back of her knees hit the bed, bringing both women falling down onto it. Sian laughed as she brushed a strand of hair away from Sophie's face.

"I love you." Sian said before kissing Sophie again, her hands cupping Sophie's cheeks.

Sophie grasped Sian's waist and using all her strength, rolled them over. Sophie moved her lips to Sian's neck and assaulted it with kisses before Sian spoke. "Soph, stop."

"What's wrong?" Sophie asked as she pulled back slightly so she stared down at Sian.

The last time the pair of them had had sex was the weekend after Sophie's birthday but of course Sophie didn't know that. As far as she knew they still had a very healthy sex life. Sophie didn't know how long Sian had been waiting for this moment, how nervous she felt at being this close to her. This felt like their first time again for Sian.

"I just…I mean…are you ready?" Sian asked, explaining further as she saw Sophie's face fill with confusion. "I mean you're not still sore? I won't hurt you."

Sophie smiled softly before kissing Sian. "You could never hurt me."

Sian closed her eyes at Sophie's words. She knew that she had hurt Sophie, not intentionally but by not being a good enough wife and by putting work before her.

"I haven't seen you this hesitant about sex since our first time." Sophie teased as she brought their lips together in a soft kiss.

"_You know we don't need to do anything." Sian said as she lay next to Sophie, playing with her girlfriend's fingers. "I'm happy to wait; I don't want you to think you have to do this to placate me."_

"_Sian, I want this."_

_Sian took a deep breath as she felt Sophie's hand cup her cheek. They'd been dating for seven months and honestly, the discussion about sex never really came up. Sophie had her belief in God and no sex before marriage and Sian respected that. Sian wished that she had been as strong as Sophie and kept her vow of chastity. She wished she had never slept with Ryan._

_She wished Sophie could have been her first._

_After a few months of dating whenever the pair were alone, things would steadily become more heated and although they always stopped, Sian found it more and more difficult to do each time. She knew that Sophie could tell what she was thinking, truthfully, she didn't hide it very well._

"_I thought you wanted it as well." Sophie asked shyly. "God I've just made a complete fool of myself haven't I?" _

_Sophie moved her hands to cover her face but Sian grabbed them before she could do it. "No you haven't. Of course I want this, I always have." Sian blushed slightly as she admitted to wanting Sophie. "I just don't want to rush you."_

"_You're not rushing me. This is my decision Sian."_

"_What about your vow?"_

_Sophie shrugged her shoulders. "I agreed not to have sex before marriage because that will be when I have the person I love. But I already have that." Sophie kissed Sian softly. "I'm in love with you, so why wait till marriage?"_

_Sian laughed. "I just want you to be sure."_

"_I'm sure." Sophie kissed her girlfriend once again; this time pressing her lips against her girlfriend's a little harder, rolling on top of Sian. Sophie pulled back so she was straddling Sian and stared into her girlfriend's eyes. "Are you going to ask me again?" _

_Sian could see how Sophie's eyes had darkened, she could feel her heart beating and she knew just how much Sophie wanted her. _

_Just as much as Sian wanted her._

_She couldn't form any words so instead she just shook her head and crashed her lips against her girlfriends. Her hands slipped underneath Sophie's jumper, stroking her back softly. Sophie pulled back and raised her hands above her head, allowing Sian to remove the offending article of clothing. Sian grasped the bottom of her girlfriend's jumper and swiftly pulled it over Sophie's head._

_Sian's eyes fell automatically to the mounds of flesh clad only bra. It was the furthest they had gone since they started dating. Sure hands would roam underneath clothing but that was where they had drawn the line._

_Sophie raised her hands to the top button of Sian's shirt and undid it, following suit for the remainder of the buttons. Sian shrugged the shirt off her shoulders and Sophie's eyes trailed across her girlfriend's body and she licked her lips as she saw just how toned her girlfriend was. It made her feel self-conscious._

_Sensing her girlfriend's doubts, Sian sat up and kissed Sophie, slipping her tongue into Sophie's mouth for a second before pulling back._

"_You are so beautiful." Sian said, sincerely. "Don't ever doubt that."_

_Sophie felt a blush fill her cheeks. Normally when Sian complimented her like that, she would dismiss it and state that she wasn't but today she could see and hear just how much Sian meant what she had said._

"_Can I?" Sian asked and Sophie realised her hands had moved to Sophie's bra clasp. Sophie's heart fluttered due to the fact that Sian had asked her first. She was grateful that Sian was willing to take this slowly. That was what she needed. Sophie nodded her head and a second later Sian undid the clasp and pulled the bra straps down her girlfriend's shoulders, throwing it across the bedroom. Sian tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. "Wow." _

_Seeing Sian clearly turned on by her body gave Sophie more confidence. "You can touch me you know."_

_Sian's head shot up at the sound of her girlfriend speaking. She brought her hands up to cup Sophie's breasts before kneading them softly. Sophie released a low moan at her girlfriend's touch. Sophie moved her hands to undo Sian's bra clasp and after a small bit of fumbling, she managed to undo it and allowed it to fall to the floor. Sophie pressed her bare chest against Sian's and pushed her back against the bed, her lips instantly seeking out their counterpart. Sian released a guttural moan as Sophie's knee connected with her centre. She couldn't remember a time when she had been this turned on._

_Sophie was capable of turning her on with the slightest action. Her lips finding Sian's weak spot behind her ear or her finger trailing up and down Sian's arm, leaving a path of goose bumps in its wake._

_Sian grasped Sophie's waist and rolled them over so she was on top, her lips finding Sophie's pulse point straight away and sucking slightly, whilst her hand played with Sophie' breast, revelling in the moans that her girlfriend was releasing_

"_Fuck Sian." _

_Sian moved her hand down Sophie's body, trailed teasingly over her girlfriend's stomach before stopping at the button of her jeans. Sian brought her gaze back to Sophie's and silently asked for approval which Sophie gave. Sian flicked the button open before teasingly pulling down the zipper. She sat up and shuffled backwards and as Sophie raised her hips, she pulled the jeans from her girlfriend's legs. _

_Sian stood from the bed and removed her own jeans before climbing back on top of Sophie, whose eyes had visibly darkened at seeing her half naked girlfriend._

_Sian left an assault of kisses against Sophie's neck before stopping to suck on her pulse point. Kissing the bruise which had begun to form. Sian kissed her girlfriend as her hands stayed on Sophie's waist._

"_Can I take these off?" Sian asked nervously as her finger trailed the waistband of Sophie's underwear. Sophie could feel her nerves filling her body and she nodded as she was unable to form any coherent words. The knowledge of what was about to happen left her speechless. Sian tugged at the underwear and Sophie raised her hips so that Sian could remove them._

_Sian pressed soft kisses along Sophie's inner thighs, her lips edging ever closer to Sophie's centre. "Soph," Sophie raised her head to see Sian looking at her with worried eyes. "Are you sure about this?"_

"_Yes." Sophie said through a deep breath. "Can you…I want…I need you up here." _

_Sian nodded and kissed her way back up Sophie's body before she found herself looking down at her girlfriend. "I'll go slowly." Sian said before she kissed Sophie's collarbone. "Just relax and if you want me to stop just say the word. Okay?" Sophie nodded and as Sian saw her girlfriend nod, she tentatively pushed one finger into Sophie._

"_God, you feel so good." Sian spoke the words against Sophie's lips before claiming them with her own. Sophie released a small moan as she felt Sian move slowly inside her._

_Sian pulled back slightly so she could look at her girlfriend before adding another finger. Sophie's eyes shut as pain coarsed through her body. _

"_Are you okay?" Sian asked as she rested her forehead against Sophie's._

_Sophie nodded but kept her eyes closed._

_Sian slowed down her movements. "Do you want me to stop?" Sophie shook her head._

"_No…just go slow." _

"_Of course baby." Sian brought her lips to Sophie's once more, hoping to distract her girlfriend away from the pain she was feeling and it helped. Gradually Sophie realised that the pain she was feeling was being replaced with pleasure. She began to feel something she hadn't felt before. Sian had always had that power. She was also able to make Sophie feel something extraordinary. _

"_God Sian," Sophie had started moaning and Sian felt herself getting more and more turned on as her name left Sophie's mouth in that raspy tone. It sounded so sexy. _

_Sian began to rub the swollen nub of pleasure with her thumb and Sophie bit down on her lip to prevent a moan from escaping as she felt pleasure shoot through her entire body. She could feel herself getting hotter and Sian felt her girlfriend's walls begin to close around her fingers._

"_Let go Soph," Sian whispered the words in her girlfriend's ear and as Sian curled her fingers, Sophie felt her orgasm overpower her. _

_Sophie buried her head in the crook of her girlfriend's neck. "Fuck Sian." _

_Sian kissed Sophie as she came down from her euphoric rush and slowly removed her fingers before licking them. _

"_You taste so good." Sophie's eyes widened as she watched her girlfriend. She was so fucking sexy doing that. Sian rolled off Sophie before cupping her face and kissing her softly. "Are you okay? I mean, I didn't hurt you did I?"_

_Sophie had to smile at how cute her girlfriend was being. "I'm perfect, that was perfect." Sophie kissed the tip of Sian's nose. "I love you."_

_Sian beamed at her girlfriend. "I love you too."_

"_Sian, I don't know…"_

_Sian kissed Sophie hard, her tongue delving into Sophie's mouth. "You don't need to do anything." Sian found Sophie's hand and entwined their fingers. "Tonight was all about you."_

"You're so cute when you're nervous." Sophie smirked.

"Me? Please, you were the nervous one."

Sophie laughed at her wife's comment. "Ten years later and you're still trying to keep up this façade. It's only me and I know that our first time made you just as nervous, if not more so than me."

Sian ducked her head, knowing just how true Sophie's words were. "Yeah okay, I was nervous. I didn't want to hurt you. It's a lot of pressure being somebody's first."

"Yeah but you wouldn't change it for anything right?"

"No, I wouldn't change it."

Sophie slipped her hand underneath Sian's top and stroked her stomach. Ten years later and she still had such defined abs. They were one of the things that Sophie loved the most about her. "How about, instead of relying on old ones, we make some new memories."

Sophie began to place soft kisses on Sian's neck again only this time Sian didn't protest.


	6. Chapter 6

"Sian, are you ready? We're already late." Sophie shouted from the front door. They were supposed to have been at the Webster twenty minutes ago but Sian had been running late after her dentist's appointment ran over and now Sophie was trying, and failing, to hurry her up.

"If we're already late, there's no need to rush." Sian retorted as she stepped out of the bedroom, holding the birthday present for Sally. Sophie raised her eyebrow at her wife. "I'm just telling the truth. If we're late now, rushing isn't going to suddenly make us be on time."

"Just hurry up." Sophie said as she stood with the door opened.

"I'm ready." Sian said as she walked towards her wife, bringing their lips together quickly. "You look really pretty today."

Sophie ducked her head slightly before looking back at Sian and smiling. She may not be able to remember seven months before the accident but what she does remember is how she and Sian seemed to be arguing a lot. That had disappeared now and Sian had become the model wife. She was caring and sweet, always putting Sophie's needs before her own. Sophie wondered when that change had come about, at the start of their relationship, Sian was the Sian she knew and loved but that version of her had disappeared when the arguments started. Sophie guessed that the change had occurred sometime in the months she couldn't remember but she didn't mind when it happened. But she was grateful for it. The old Sian was back and she loved it. It had been a month since the accident and Sophie had never felt as connected to Sian as she had done recently.

"You don't look too shabby yourself." Sophie replied as she raked her eyes over her wife's attire. Sian was wearing jeans and a dressy top but Sian had always had the ability to make something so casual look so sexy. Sophie envied her for that.

"I give you pretty and I get not too shabby." Sian playfully replied. "Maybe I should go back and change."

Sophie grabbed her wife's hand and pulled her through the doorway before she could even move a step. "You look beautiful." Sophie said sincerely. "But we really need to go."

The car journey had been filled with idle conversation whilst the pair listened to the radio. Occasionally they would each steal glances at each other before looking away. Each of them felt as though they hadn't been together for ten years, instead they felt as though they had only just started dating. They felt that rush of excitement and happiness you get when you first start seeing somebody.

Once they had arrived at the Webster's, they were immediately greeted by Rosie.

"Hiya babes, mum and dad have been waiting for you two." Rosie said as she hugged both of them. Rosie had been exceptionally happy the last few days because Jason had finally asked her to marry him. She had gushed about how romantic it was and how he had showed up wearing the white navy uniform from an officer and a gentleman before carrying her out of the room when she had accepted.

_Sian inhaled sharply as she sat at the table in the restaurant. Sophie was supposed to have been here ten minutes ago but had rung to say she was running late. The delay had only made Sian more nervous. She was positive that if Sophie didn't come soon, she would lose the nerve to propose. She had been thinking about it for the past few months but had only just built up the confidence to do it. _

_She and Sophie had been dating for three years and she couldn't wait to take the next step in their relationship. She could imagine being married to Sophie although she knew that it would be a while away because she knew that Sophie would want to wait until after university and Sian was fine with that. As long as she knew that she would be married to Sophie someday, she didn't really mind when that was. She just wanted the ring on Sophie's finger._

_Sian stole a glance at her watch, desperately hoping that Sophie would make an appearance soon. Sian looked out of the window which overlooked the car park and felt an overwhelming feeling of delight as she saw Sophie walking towards the restaurant. A smile filled her face but it soon dropped as she saw Rosie walking behind her. She couldn't propose in front of Rosie, it was nerve-wracking enough doing it in a restaurant but at least the spectators were strangers; she couldn't do it in front of Sophie's sister._

"_Hey babe," Sophie pecked Sian's lips. "Sorry, the traffic was dreadful."_

_Sian smiled as Sophie took a seat opposite her. "It's okay, you're here now." Sian turned around in search of Rosie but couldn't spot her. _

"_What are you looking for?"_

_Sian turned around, a slight smile on her face. Rosie must have just been walking in the same direction. She could propose after all. "Nothing. Nothing at all." Sophie smiled before rubbing her right leg against Sian's left. "Playing footsie with me are you?"_

_Sophie smirked. "Got a problem with that?" Sian laughed before shaking her head. Sian was about to speak again when she heard Rosie's voice and her smile dropped from her face._

"_Sorry, there was a queue in the ladies."_

_Sophie smiled apologetically at Sian before watching as Rosie sat down. "Don't mind me gate crashing your little date."_

"_You don't mind do you?" Sophie asked, her foot still stroking Sian's leg._

_Sian smiled politely and shook her head, trying to hide the disappointment which surged through her body. Sophie stared at Sian, conveying with her expression that she didn't believe her. Sian simply smiled wider and ducked her head to look at the menu._

"_Champagne, very nice." Rosie said as she grabbed the bottle from the ice bucket in the centre of the table. "Splashing out for any particular reason?"_

_Sian turned her head to look at Rosie, not failing to notice how Sophie's eyes had widened. "No, I just like to treat Sophie every now and again." Sophie smiled at how romantic and sweet her girlfriend was._

"_Well then, let's get the party started." Rosie said. "You don't mind if I open it do you?" _

_Sian brought her gaze back to the menu. "Knock yourself out."_

"_Sian," Sophie's delicate voice caused Sian to look up from the table. She mouthed 'are you okay' across the table but Sian simply nodded and looked down again._

"_So what are we all having?" Rosie said as she placed the menu onto the table. Sian kept her gaze fixated on the menu but she wasn't thinking about what to order, she was thinking about the velvet box which would now stay hidden in her bag._

_Sian stayed silent for the majority of the night, constantly avoiding her girlfriend's gaze because she knew that Sophie didn't believe her when she had admitted to being okay. Rosie had polished off the bottle of champagne before ordering another two bottles, not realising that Sian had planned to foot the entire bill. When the bill had come, Rosie was far too drunk to realise that she needed to pay some of the money so Sophie had offered to pay her share as well her own. Sian had brushed off the suggestion and told Sophie that it was her idea to eat here, therefore she would pay._

_The car journey home had been made in silence, Sian driving Sophie's car because she was the only one that hadn't had anything to drink. She didn't feel in the mood to drink. She wanted to have the champagne as a celebration and she didn't get to celebrate anything._

"_Rosie's gone now so are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Sophie asked as the pair walked into their flat. _

"_Why did you have to invite her to the meal?"_

"_We were spending the day together and I didn't invite her, she invited herself." Sophie said as she poured herself a glass of water. "You know what Rosie's like."_

"_I just wanted it to be the two of us." Sian said as she walked through to the bedroom._

"_Why?" Sophie questioned from the kitchen. "Rosie's gate crashed loads of our dates. It's what she does. It's only because she's single."_

"_Well this wasn't just any date!" Sian replied, her voice rising in volume so that Sophie could hear her from the other room._

"_Well you've have to explain it to me." Sophie said as she entered the bedroom. "Because I don't understand what was so special about today._

"_I was going to propose!" Sian shouted before looking out of the window, avoiding Sophie's gaze. "I didn't mean that."_

_Sophie blinked quickly, confusion etching her face. "What? So you weren't going to propose?" _

"_No." Sian said. "I mean yes, I just didn't want you to find out like that." Sian turned around to see Sophie mulling things over in her head. "I had everything planned out. I was going to propose to you before the starter, that's why I had champagne. Then you bring Rosie and she ruined everything." _

"_Sian, baby." Sophie walked towards her girlfriend and grabbed her hands. "I had no idea, if I did, I would never have brought her along."_

"_It's fine." Sophie could see how upset her girlfriend was over the failed proposal. _

"_Ask me now."_

_Sian's eyes widened at Sophie's suggestion. "What?"_

_Sophie smiled before speaking again. "I said ask me to marry you now."_

"_I can't." Sian said. "It's not romantic and there's no element of surprise. It would be a rubbish proposal."_

"_You asking me to spend the rest of my life with you is romantic enough. I don't care about a fancy restaurant or champagne. Just you and me. That's all I need." Sian nodded. "That being said, I still want it done properly." Sophie laughed._

_Sian laughed at her girlfriend's suggestion but complied. Grabbing her bag from the bed she pulled out the velvet box before getting down on one knee in front of Sophie. "Sophie Webster, I love you more than I ever thought possible and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to grow old with you, have kids with you; I want to be with you forever. So, will you marry me?"_

_Sian opened the box and looked at her girlfriend who had tears in her eyes. "Yes, of course I will." Both women laughed as Sian slid the engagement ring on Sophie's finger before kissing her deeply._

Sophie shared an affectionate glance with Sian and it was obvious that they had both been thinking of the same thing. Sian glanced down at her own engagement ring. Sophie had proposed to her two weeks later saying that she deserved a ring of her own. Sophie had kept to what she thought romantic and proposed when it was just the two of them in bed. No fancy props, no going over the top.

Just the two of them.

"There you two are, we were wondering when you'd make an appearance." Sally walked over to the pair before pulling Sophie into an affectionate hug. Since the accident, Sally had been guilty of extreme mollycoddling, not wanting to risk losing Sophie again. Sally turned towards Sian and pulled her into a hug. The relationship between the two of them was still rife but they wanted to try and act normal, at least for Sophie's sake. Their own reconciliation would come at a later date.

"Happy birthday mum." Sophie said as she took the present from Sian's bag and handed it over.

"Happy birthday Sally." Sian repeated, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Sally thanked the two of them before disappearing to welcome Gail who had just made an appearance.

"This is weird." Sophie said as they both walked out into the garden to see Kevin on the BBQ, they both gave him a small wave and he nodded in reply.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, it just feels weird being with everybody. Almost as if I haven't been around everybody for ages." Sophie said as she handed a glass of wine to Sian who took it gratefully. "I guess memory loss makes you feel odd." Sian stayed silent and just nodded in agreement.

"Have you remembered anything more?" Sian asked although she dreaded hearing the answer.

Sophie took a sip of her own wine. The pair were staying at Sophie's parents for the night so they were both allowed to drink. Sophie shook her head. "No, it's all pretty much a blur. It's really frustrating."

Sian entwined her fingers with Sophie's. "The doctor said it might never come back."

"I know that Sian." Sophie said, raising her voice slightly. "It's just…there are seven months which I just can't remember. I mean I have my birthday and then nothing until I woke up. You have no idea what that is like."

"I know, I'm sorry." Sian said. "I just want you to be prepared in case you never remember."

Sophie squeezed Sian's hand a little. "I know." She gave Sian a grateful smile. "I'm sorry for snapping at you."

Sian shook her head. "Don't worry about it; I can't begin to imagine what it's like for you." For the past few days, Sophie had started asking Sian questions about what happened over the seven months which were omitted from her memory and although Sian had changed the topic every time, she knew she wouldn't be able to avoid it for ever. She would have to think of something to tell Sophie.

Another lie.

"Sophie," Rosie walked over to the garden table where they were both standing. "Mum wants your help in the kitchen."

"And you can't help because…" Sophie asked, although she had already begun to move.

"Because I've just done my nails." Rosie replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Sophie laughed sarcastically. "Of course, how stupid of me." She flashed a winning smile at Sian. "See you later."

Sian smiled back at her before watching her disappear.

"So how are things?" Rosie asked as she picked up Sophie's wine and took a sip, ignoring the stare that Sian was giving her.

"They're okay."

Rosie raised her eyebrow. "Tell me the truth."

Sian gave Rosie a small smile. "They really are okay; I mean I think this past month has been the best our relationship has been for as long as I can remember."

"But…"

"But she keeps asking me what happened in the months she's forgotten and I don't know what to tell her. I can't think of lies on the spot."

Rosie sighed and took another sip of the wine, draining the glass. "Be honest."

Sian choked a little on her drink at Rosie's suggestion. "Be honest! Wasn't it you that told me to keep the truth from her? You told me not to say anything." Sian's voice was increasing in volume and few party guests were glancing over at her.

"Sian, quieten down." Rosie warned. "I don't mean tell her the whole truth, just tell her that things were a bit rough but you sorted it. Tell her that after you got the promotion things changed. You don't need to mention anything specific."

"It's just a massive web of lies, hell I'm even starting to believe it." Sian moaned before draining her own glass. "I need the bathroom."

Rosie watched her go before pouring herself another glass of wine. "Where's Sian gone?" Rosie turned around as Sophie sidled in next to her.

"Bathroom." Rosie stated. "You seem uncharacteristically chirpy." Rosie joked. "What's put that smile on your face? Or should I say who?"

Sophie rolled her eyes. "I need a reason to be happy now do I?" Rosie just looked at Sophie until she buckled. "Fine, it's Sian. I don't know, I just feel really connected to her recently. I can't remember the last time I felt this happy."

"I'm glad little sis." Rosie said. Even though, like Sian, Rosie had taken some persuasion to go along with the entire charade, she could see now that it was the right thing to do. Sian and Sophie were always meant to be and if it took a lie to make that happen, then it was worth it. "Sian's just as happy."

Sophie's smile widened at the mention of Sian's name. She'd been thinking for a few days that this happiness she felt had been due to the fact that something had happened to shake up their relationship. Maybe the arguments that Sophie could remember were just down to the fact that their marriage had become mundane, they had become the proverbial old married couple and their relationship had lost its spontaneity.

Sophie was still in love with Sian just as much as she had been when they first started dating, if not more so. That love had never been extinguished but the romance had disappeared. Sophie wasn't going to let that happen. She was going to make sure her marriage was full of romance and spontaneity.

"What have I missed?" Sian asked as she re-joined Sophie and Rosie, pecking Sophie's lips.

Sophie took a deep breath before grabbing Sian's hand. "Let's renew our vows."


	7. Chapter 7

Sian sat at the kitchen counter and watched as her flat was filled with balloons and the dining room table steadily filled with trays of various foods ranging from sandwiches to different desserts. Everything had happened too quickly. Sophie had proposed the idea of renewing their wedding vows two months ago and now they were happening this afternoon.

Sian had panicked at the suggestion, knowing that things were getting way out of hand. It was bad enough that she had to lie to Sophie about the fact that they were really getting a divorce, now she was expected to re-marry Sophie. All the while Sophie is under the illusion that nothing is wrong and this was just a natural step in their marriage.

Rosie and Sally had both tried their best to persuade Sian that she should renew her wedding vows because it meant that Sophie didn't plan on leaving anytime soon. By suggesting the idea, it showed that Sophie was still very much in love with Sian and nothing else mattered. However it was Sophie who convinced Sian.

Sophie had seen the lack of enthusiasm from Sian and in turn had panicked that maybe it wasn't what Sian wanted. Seeing Sophie filled with worry and dread made Sian change her mind. If it was what Sophie wanted then it is what would happen. Sian had managed to convince Sophie that her lack of enthusiasm had been due to Sophie's accident and she didn't want them her to partake in anything stressful so soon after the accident.

"Where do you want the flowers?"

Sian turned to look at the delivery man standing in the doorway, holding a vase of red tulips. Sophie's favourite.

"Put them on the coffee table." Sian ordered. "Thanks."

They were renewing their vows in the hotel where they first married before coming back here to have the reception. It felt like they were getting married again for real. They were only having family at the ceremony; well Sophie's family would be there. Sian hadn't spoken to her mum in years and this October would be the first year anniversary of her dad's death.

Sophie had asked Sian if the reason she didn't want to renew their wedding vows was because her dad couldn't be there but Sian had simply shrugged off the suggestion. She didn't like talking about her dad. She never really talked to Sophie about it. After he died, things went even further downhill for Sophie and Sian. Sian always pushing her away.

"Nervous?" Sophie appeared from their bedroom wearing a hoody and jeans, her hair in rollers. Sian meanwhile was still in her pyjamas. Sophie would be getting ready at the Webster's. Since Sian didn't have any family, Ryan had been invited and he would escort her down the aisle. Sian was grateful that she would have at least somebody. Ryan had been Sian's best friend since they were young and her boyfriend for a few months before she realised her feelings for Sophie. However, despite breaking up they stayed friends but a few years ago he had moved down to London for a job and their relationship had taken a hit. As a result, Ryan didn't know about Sophie and Sian's separation. Sian was grateful of that fact, the less people who knew, the better.

"Why would I be nervous?" Sian said. "I'm marrying the love of my life…again."

"I'm still nervous." Sophie admitted.

Sian smiled. "So am I." Although she was nervous for a whole different reason. By renewing their wedding vows, it was only digging a deeper hole. Sian prayed that Sophie's memory would never come back because there was no going back from this. If Sophie found out, they would be over.

Sian had no doubts about that.

"_Good afternoon everybody. We have come together today to join Sian Powers and Sophie Lauren Webster in holy matrimony."_

_Sian couldn't describe how happy she was at this very moment. Today all her dreams were coming true. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with Sophie and after a three year engagement; the date of their marriage had finally come._

_Neither woman wanted a massive affair; they just wanted it to be simple. Most people from Coronation Street had been invited and both Sophie and Sian had invited their university friends. It wasn't going to be a spectacle of a wedding. They just wanted to get married._

_Sian couldn't help but look at Sophie throughout the entire ceremony, in truth she didn't actually hear much of what the registrar was saying. She was too busy looking at her soon to be wife._

"_Sian, you have always been my best friend but when I was 15 you became so much more. You became not only my best friend but also my girlfriend; you became the person I wanted to spend every day with. As we grew older, you stayed that person and I realised that you were the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Sian, you're it for me, you're the one. And I promise to love you until the day I die. I want to be with you forever. I love you."_

_Sian noticed the tears welling up in Sophie's eyes as she spoke her own vows. They had agreed to write their own vows and Sian hadn't been able to put anything on paper. She'd never been the best with words but seeing Sophie standing in front of her, she knew exactly what to say._

"_I never expected to fall in love with you but I always expected you to be in my life forever. We were best friends but now we're still best friends but with the added bonus of being each other's partner and there's nothing I want more. You are perfect to me Sophie Webster and I can't wait to start out life together properly, I can't wait to start a family with you, I can't wait to be with you every single day. My feelings for you will never change and even if we argue, I want you to remember that. I love you so much."_

_It was Sian's turn to well up now as Sophie grabbed her hand affectionately before whispering I love you once more. Sian didn't hear the rest of the registrar's speech but she did hear his closing statement._

"_I now pronounce you wife and wife." _

_Sophie laughed before cupping Sian's face and kissing her softly, making sure the kiss lasted a little bit longer than normal. Their first kiss as a married couple._

_Their wedding had gone swimmingly, Sian constantly trying to stop the smile from spreading across her face but failing every time. _

"_So does it feel any different now you're married?" _

_Sian turned around to see Tina staring at her happily with a glass of wine._

"_Not really." Sian admitted. "But we've only been married for thirty minutes. Ask me in a few months."_

_Tina nodded in understanding. "I always thought you two would make it. You're the model couple. I wish I could find somebody who looked at me," Tina pointed at Sophie who was staring happily at Sian. "The way Sophie looks at you."_

"_I take it things didn't work out with Peter." _

_Tina scrunched her nose up in disgust. "Let's just say, we had too similar interests." Sian furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Tina sighed. "He was gay."_

"_Oh," Sian raised her hand to her mouth and tried to suppress a laugh._

"_Don't laugh." Tina scolded. "It's not funny."_

"_I know," Sian said. "I'm sorry." _

"_Go on. I know it's killing you not to." _

_Sian gave up trying to stop her laughter and allowed it to take over her body. She laughed heartily, raising her right hand to her chest. Tina just stepped back and said a quick goodbye before walking away leaving Sian alone._

"_What's so funny?" Sophie asked as she sidled next to Sian, her hand wrapping around her waist immediately._

_Sian took a few deep breaths to calm herself and turned to smile at her wife. "Tina's boyfriend, well ex now, is gay."_

_Sophie let out a short laugh. "Poor Tina, she's so unlucky in love." Sian nodded in agreement. "Not like us."_

"_I know. I can't believe we're married." Sian agreed. "Guess we're the lucky ones."_

"_Nope," Sophie shook her head, "we're soul mates."_

_Sophie and Sian had returned to their flat ten minutes ago after leaving the reception to enjoy some time alone as a married couple. Sophie had surprised Sian with tickets to Hawaii for their honeymoon. The couple had agreed that they would go on honeymoon next year when they had more money but Sophie had decided that wouldn't do._

_Sian was reading over the tickets unable to believe that Sophie had bought them. Their flight left tomorrow evening and already Sian couldn't wait. Two weeks of sun, sand and Sophie in a bikini. A small smile filled her face._

"_Sian, are you coming to bed?" Sian lifted her head as she heard Sophie call for her from their bedroom._

_Sian placed the tickets back on the kitchen table before walking towards the bedroom. She smiled as she saw Sophie sitting on the bed, wrapped in a dressing gown. She would never get tired of seeing Sophie in their bed._

"_I thought since we're not going on honeymoon till tomorrow, we should really enjoy our wedding night." Sophie suggested, shrugging the dressing gown off. Sian gulped hard as she stared at her wife clad only in red lingerie. "You like?"_

_Sian licked her lips before raking her eyes over her wife's body, moving closer to her. Sian straddled Sophie, nibbling her earlobe softly. "Very much so."_

"_You are wearing far too many clothes."_

_Sian laughed as she placed kisses on Sophie's neck. "Well then, you'd better fix that."_

The sound of buzzing brought Sian back from her reverie and she saw Sophie talking on the intercom. "I guess it's time for me to go." Sophie walked over to Sian and placed her hands on her wife's thighs. "You know we can get ready together, I mean do those bad luck myths exist if you're already married."

"Best not chance it." Sian smiled

"I just wish you weren't alone." Sophie confessed sadly and Sian kissed the tip of her nose as she heard the buzzer go again.

"I won't be alone." Sian said as she stood to answer the intercom. "Ryan's here now anyway and Rosie said she'd nip over later. I'll be fine." Sian reassured Sophie. "Now go on, get out of here."

"Trying to get rid of me?" Sophie placed her hand against her heart. "I'm hurt."

"The sooner you're gone, the sooner we'll be getting married again."

Sophie nodded and walked towards the door, wrapping her arms around Sian in the process. Opening the door, the pair came face to face with Ryan.

"Hey Ryan," Sophie said as she side stepped him. "Go on through." Ryan did as he was told and gave Sian a hug. It felt good to hug him again after all these years. She'd missed having him as her best friend; she'd missed having somebody to talk to. She could have really done with that when Sophie left her. "I'll see you later Sian. I love you."

"I love you too." Sian replied. "Now go."

Sophie finally complied and shut the door behind her. "Getting married again hey, I thought you were mad doing it the first time."

Sian playfully punched him in the shoulder. "If you were married to Sophie, you wouldn't be saying that."

"It's nice to see you Sian."

Sian allowed herself to be pulled into his chest once again and the tears began to fall. She felt overwhelmed by the entire situation. She wanted Sophie more than anything but the longer she kept this lie up, the more she wanted to tell the truth. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as she thought.

Maybe Sophie would understand.

Sian knew she was kidding herself if she thought that Sophie would ever forgive her for lying to her for the past three months.

Sian closed her eyes as Ryan hugged her tighter. She couldn't go through with this. It was bad enough that she was going through with a lie; she couldn't abuse Sophie's trust even further.

As much as Sian wanted Sophie, she couldn't keep lying to her. Sian began to cry into Ryan's chest as she realised what she was about to do.

Sophie paced the Webster's living room. Although it had been her idea to renew their vows, she didn't account for this amount of nerves. She hadn't even been this nervous the first time around. She had put the nerves down to the fact that renewing your vows was a big deal because when you marry, you're saying you'll be together forever but 1 in 3 marriages ends in divorce. When you renew your vows, you're beating that statistic.

The nerves were also due to the fact that she wasn't 100% that Sian was up for the idea. Sure she had agreed and told her it was what she wanted but Sophie still had her doubts. Maybe she shouldn't have suggested renewing their vows; maybe it was too soon after the accident. It had only been three months since Sophie had come home from the hospital, perhaps she should call the whole thing off.

"You're going to wear a hole in the carpet." Kevin said as he appeared from the kitchen holding a cup of tea. "And I don't have the time to re-carpet it."

Sophie smiled and stood still, taking the cup from her dad. "When do we need to go?"

Kevin stole a glance at his watch. "We have another couple of hours." He said. "I get to give Rosie away in a few months and I'm giving you away for the second time. I'm losing my daughters." He said jokingly but Sophie could see the slight sadness that resided behind his eyes. "My little girls are all grown up, I want the times back when you would run me ragged and beg me for money."

Sophie walked over to her dad and let him wrap his arms around her. "If it helps, I can still beg for money.

Kevin laughed as he squeezed Sophie a little tighter but released his hold of her when a loud knock at the front door rang through the house.

"Can I see Sophie please?" Sophie looked towards the door at the sound of Sian's voice before making her way towards her wife.

"Sian, is everything okay?" Sophie took in her wife's appearance. Her eyes were red and puffy and she was dressed in her comfortable clothes which she would wear when the pair had lazy days in.

"Can we go for a walk?" Sian asked still standing on the doorstep. "I need to tell you something."

"We're supposed to be renewing our vows in a few hours, can it not wait?"

Sian shook her head and held her hand out for Sophie to take. "It's important."

Sophie could see from her wife's face that whatever she needed to talk to her about was severe. Her face was filled with worry and Sophie thought she was mistaken, but she thought Sian's face held fear. Sophie took the outstretched hand and allowed Sian to lead her away from the Webster's.

"Sian." The pair had only walked to the end of the path before Sally's voice made them both turn around.

Sian pecked Sophie's lips briefly before muttering she'd be right back. "What is it Sally?"

Sally glanced at her daughter who was sitting on their wall playing nervously with her fingers. "I hope you're not about to do what I think you are."

"What I'm about to do is none of your business."

Sally scoffed. "It is if you're going to hurt my daughter." Sian flinched at her words knowing that that was exactly what was about to happen. She was going to break Sophie's heart. "You can't tell her Sian." For the first time since the accident, Sian could hear desperation in Sally's voice.

Sian glanced behind her at Sophie who was sat oblivious to their conversation. "I have to. I can't keep lying to her and I certainly can't let us renew our vows."

"You're going to break her heart."

"I'm going to break mine too." Sian whispered the words, too quiet for Sally to hear but the truth in her statement made her heart ache. Sian walked back to Sophie, ignoring Sally who was about to speak again.

"So what did you want to tell me?"

Sian shook her head once again. "Not here." Sian grabbed her wife's hand before walking towards their favourite spot as teenagers. The bench where Sian had sat after coming back to talk to Sophie after the kiss.

Sophie mirrored Sian's actions and sat down on the bench beside her. The pair sat in silence for several minutes before Sophie spoke. "So are you going to tell me what's wrong because I really need to get ready? So do you. You're cutting things a bit fine aren't you, you couldn't have told me this morning? No you had to wait until I was about to get ready and now you're not even speaking."

"I can't do it."

Sophie turned to look at Sian who had cast her gaze downwards onto the pavement. "What?"

Sian inhaled sharply. "I can't renew our vows."

"I know you're nervous but so am I." Sophie placed her hand on Sian's thigh. The small gesture had always comforted Sian.

"That's not the reason." Sian smiled shyly. "I can't renew our vows because it's not right."

"Why not? I thought you wanted to."

"I lied to you."

Sophie shook her head, not fully understanding what Sian was talking about. "What do you mean?"

Sian took a deep breath before looking at Sophie. "Tell me Sian?" She could see the confusion and worry etched on her wife's face and it made Sian feel even worse. She didn't want to hurt Sophie but she could let them renew their vows. She knew that Sophie would be distraught if she found out that it had happened under false pretences.

"I can't do it without my dad." Sian closed her eyes at the end of her sentence, ashamed of herself for not being able to tell the truth. "I know I said that it didn't bother me but it does. I just need more time." Sian waited for Sophie to shout at her for not mentioning this before but Sophie simply began to stroke Sian's thigh in a comforting manner.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Sophie asked soothingly as she wiped away a stray tear from Sian's cheek. "Did you think I would be mad?"

"I know how much you want this." Sian replied. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Sian babe," Sophie tucked a strand of Sian's hair behind her ear. "I've told you before, you could never hurt me. If you don't want to do this, we won't."

"I do want to." Sian admitted.

Sophie nodded. "Well in that case, we'll wait until you feel ready." Sophie tilted Sian's chin so they were looking at each other. Sophie brushed her lips against her wife's briefly before smiling. "Never be afraid to tell me if something's bothering you. I'm your wife. Through good times and bad."

Sian smiled back at her wife, trying to ignore the guilt which was filling her stomach. It was eating away at her. She closed her eyes as Sophie pulled her in for a hug. Sian couldn't believe how big a coward she was. She had the perfect chance to tell Sophie the truth but once again she had taken the easy option and lied.

She was an utter coward.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you for the comments. They are much appreciated

**Two weeks later:**

Today was always going to be a difficult day for Sian. Sophie knew that from the moment she woke up. Today was the first anniversary of Sian's dad's death. Sian never spoke about her dad, even when it happened, Sian grieved alone, refusing to let Sophie help her and after the funeral Sian ignored every conversation Sophie had attempted to start with her about him. She claimed that talking about her dad made it too difficult to deal with. She needed to try and forget what happened in order to move on.

Although Sophie knew her wife would never move on from the death of her father. Although she didn't admit it, Sian knew too.

Sian had never liked sharing her problems with other people. She found it easier to deal with things on her own because she was used to doing that. It was something she had done since she was a child. When her granddad died, Sian had pushed everybody close to her away and dealt with it on her own. When she realised that she was gay, she dealt with it on her own, only telling Sophie after a few months of struggling alone.

"Sian, I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight." Sophie asked as she handed her a cup of tea. "We could go out for a meal."

Sian took a sip of her tea before shaking her head. "I'm not really in the mood for going out."

Sophie nodded. She had expected that response. She had expected Sian to be shut down and withdrawn. The few weeks after her dad's death, Sian had pushed Sophie away completely, she constantly wanted to be alone and as a result she would stay late at work, in the hope that Sophie would be fast asleep by the time she got home. Sophie knew that that was when the arguments began.

"Babe, it might do you good to get out." Sophie suggested as she took a seat beside Sian. "It'll help take your mind off your dad."

Sian placed her cup of tea on the coffee table. "Have you ever thought that maybe I don't want to stop thinking about him?"

"I didn't mean it like that."

"You don't understand what it's like okay. You have both your parents. You're not like me, my dad's dead and my mum refuses to acknowledge me because I'm gay." Sian began.

"Sian..."

"Don't pretend like you understand what I'm going through today because you have absolutely no idea." Sian stood from the sofa and walked into the bedroom before lying down on the bed. Sophie groaned with frustration before standing up and following her wife.

"Don't do this Sian." Sophie said as she sat on the bed beside Sian. "Don't push me away again."

Sian closed her eyes tightly to prevent the tears from falling. She knew she was acting the same way she had last year. "I miss him so much Soph."

Sophie shuffled forward and Sian re-positioned herself so that her head rested on Sophie's lap. "I know you do baby." Sophie brought her hand up to stroke her wife's hair in a soothing way.

"I wish he'd been here when you were hurt." Sian stated. "I wish he was here now. I know it's been a year but I think about him every day. Why did he have to die Sophie? Was it my fault?"

"No of course not, why do you think that?"

"You remember what the pastor said when we were young. We're living a sinful life; maybe if I was straight he'd still be alive."

"Sian, it is not your fault. And it isn't to do with the way you live your life." Sophie re-affirmed. "I'm living my life the same way and nothing's happened to me."

"No, it just all happens to me." Sian stated sadly.

"Do you regret being with me?" Sophie asked, even though she knew it probably wasn't a sensible question.

Sian raised her head straightaway. "No of course not. Don't you dare think that! I just…I need a reason for why he died." Sian explained. "I don't understand why he had to die."

"There's no explanation for it." Sophie said. "These things just happen."

"Yeah, they don't happen to you though do they?" Sian sneered before starting to cry again. "I'm sorry; I don't mean to snap at you."

"It's okay."

Sophie could feel her jeans becoming damp as Sian's tears fell. "It's not." Sian whispered. "I don't mean to push you away."

"I know you don't." Sophie agreed. "You just think that it's easier if you deal with everything on your own." Sophie said, kissing her wife's forehead softly. "I'm here when you're ready to talk."

Sian smiled softly and cuddled into her wife's embrace, momentarily forgetting everything else and allowing herself to be comforted by Sophie.

"_Sian?" Sophie closed the door before her shopping bags down in the kitchen. "Babe are you in?" Sophie walked towards the bedroom before seeing it was empty. She turned around and spotted Sian sitting in the corner of the living room. "Sian?"_

_Sian lifted her head as she heard Sophie move closer to her. Her eyes were red and puffy. Sophie automatically felt her heart ache as she saw how upset her wife looked. _

"_My dad's dead."_

_Sian spoke straight away and Sophie wrapped her wife in her arms. "Oh baby, come here." Sian allowed herself to be pulled into Sophie's chest and she let Sophie comfort her. "How did it happen?"_

_Sian sniffed. "My mum rang; Dad's had a heart attack." Sian let the tears fall once more. "He died in London and I couldn't even be with him because my stupid mother made them move down there when I moved in with you."_

"_Sian, we'll get the first train down to London." Sophie said, kissing her wife's forehead. "It'll be okay._

"_How can you say that?" Sian said. "My dad's dead. It's not okay; it's as far from okay as it can be."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I need to get some air. Sian stated standing up and pushing Sophie off her._

"_I'll come with you."_

"_No." Sian shouted at Sophie and the ferocity in her tone made Sophie flinch. "I mean, I just need to be alone. I need to get my head around this."_

"_Okay." Sophie nodded. "I'll be here when you get back."_

_Sian smiled gratefully before walking out of the house, leaving Sophie alone. She had never seen Sian this broken before and it made her heart ache. She wanted to be there for Sian but she knew how Sian acted. She knew that when something bad happened, Sian would shut down and therefore Sophie knew that she would have to break her down and she prayed that Sian would let her._

_She prayed that Sian would talk to her._

_Sophie glanced at the clock, it had three hours since Sian had left and Sophie had been worried for just shy of three hours. Sophie raised her head as she heard keys in the door. Sian opened the door before walking it and heading straight to the kitchen. Sophie stood from the couch and walked towards her._

"_Where have you been?" Sophie asked. "I've been worried."_

_Sian got herself a glass of water and took a sip. "I've just been walking around, trying to clear my head."_

"_You could have called, or text."_

"_I'm sorry." Sian said. "I didn't realise how long I'd been out. I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier as well."_

_Sophie opened her arms and Sian walked into them, allowing Sophie to hold her tightly. She always felt safe when Sophie held her. "It's okay. You're going through an awful time; you're allowed to be angry."_

"_Yeah but I shouldn't take it out on you." Sian replied. "You've done nothing wrong."_

"_I'm your wife; I signed up for getting shouted out when I've done nothing wrong." Sophie kissed Sian's head. "But that's okay because I'd rather you shout at me than keep things bottled up."_

"_I'd rather I didn't shout at you at all."_

"_Yeah well, it's hardly a barrel of laughs for me but it's a part of marriage." Sophie said. "Granted, it's not my favourite but I can cope with it. As long as you talk to me."_

_Sophie kept hold of Sian for several minutes in silence before she felt her wife's body wrack with sobs. Sophie held tighter to Sian allowing her to cry. "I'm going to be here for you. You do know that right?"_

_Sian pulled back from her wife's embrace. "I know. I love you."_

_Sophie brought their lips together in a soft kiss before resting her forehead against Sian's. "I love you too. Always."_

It had been a couple of days since the anniversary of Sian's dad's death and Sian had heeded Sophie's advice and actually talked to her about her feelings instead of shutting down and refusing to talk. Sian had left their flat a couple of hours ago saying she needed to get her thoughts together. Sophie had tried to go with her but Sian had turned her down, telling her she would be back soon and not to worry. She was fine; she just needed to remember her dad. Sophie knew exactly where she would be and was making her way to the nearby cemetery. She knew that Sian would be sitting at his grave, telling him about everything which had happened recently. Sian did the same thing every year on the anniversary of her granddad's death.

"Sophie!" Sophie turned around at the sound of somebody calling her.

"Amy, hi." Sophie hugged the blonde girl as she threw herself at her. Sophie and Amy used to work together but Amy had left the company a few months ago however the pair stayed in contact.

"How have you been?" Amy asked. "I haven't seen you for months."

Sophie smiled at her friend. "I've been good, what about you?"

"Good." Amy replied. "I'm pregnant."

Sophie's smile widened at the news. Amy had been trying for a baby with her husband for as long as Sophie had known her but it seemed as if they were unable to have children. "That's fantastic news. Congratulations."

Amy nodded gratefully before her eyes fell on Sophie's hand. "Who's the lucky person?" Amy asked as she fingered the wedding band.

Sophie furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "It's Sian, you know that."

It was Amy's time to look confused. "Did you not go through with it?"

Sophie's brows furrowed even more. "Go through with what?"

"The divorce. Last time we spoke you said you were leaving Sian." Amy said unaware of the damage she was about to inflict. "Oh I'm so glad you decided to work things out with her. It really is fantastic." Amy gushed. "You always were the cutest couple."

Sophie's eyes widened but she tried to stop the shock from showing on her face. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Amy must be mistaken. "And when was the last time we spoke?" Sophie asked before speaking further. "Sorry, it was so long ago, I can't remember." Sophie laughed slightly at the end.

Amy scrunched her forehead up in thought. "You came to David's surprise birthday party so it must have been February." Amy explained.

Sophie nodded her head. She couldn't remember anything that happened between November and June but Amy couldn't be telling the truth. She couldn't have been divorcing Sian because that would mean that Sian had been lying to her for the past four months and Sian wouldn't do that.

Would she?

Sophie began to rummage through the chest of drawers in the living room in search of anything which would prove whether Amy was telling the truth or whether she was just mistaken. Sophie knew that back in November they were having a bit of a rough patch and she remembered sleeping on the couch but that wouldn't have made her decide to leave Sian.

Sophie threw the contents of the drawer onto the floor, searching through all the pieces of paper and various letters. When they first moved into together, they decided that all letters and important information would go in one specific place because they both had a habit of losing things. This way they would always be able to find whatever they were looking for. Sophie breathed a sigh of relief when she couldn't find anything but then her eyes fell on a letter which had landed by the coffee table.

Burrow and Co. Solicitors.


	9. Chapter 9

**I want to thank you all for the comments. They all mean the world to me and I'm glad people are enjoying this story. Anyway, here's the next part.**

Sophie buried her head in her hands as the letter lay beside her on the bed. She had spent the past hour just reading the letter over and over again. Unable to comprehend what it said.

She had filed for divorce.

She had wanted to leave Sian.

The date on the letter was issued four months before her accident and no matter how hard Sophie tried, she couldn't remember anything.

She couldn't wrap her head around everything.

Sian, Rosie, her parents, everybody had been lying to her. Or at least she guessed everybody else knew about it. Sophie may not be able to remember but she knew that the first person she would turn to in a crisis like this would have been Rosie. Her marriage with Sian had been a façade. They all knew that Sophie had wanted to leave Sian but instead of telling her the truth, they allowed her to believe that nothing had happened.

Sophie felt sick to her stomach.

They had all deceived her.

Sophie couldn't believe that Sian had been willing to go along with everything. The one person she trusted with her life had betrayed her.

Part of her hated Sian for that.

Sophie raised her head as she heard the front door open and close. "Soph, I'm back." Sian said as she appeared in the bedroom, a smile on her face. Sophie looked up with a face of stone as Sian walked over towards her and Sian halted as she saw Sophie's face, noticing that she was upset. "What's wrong?"

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Sophie prayed that given the chance, Sian would come clean about her actions but deep down she knew that wouldn't happen.

"Like what?" Sian asked, a feeling of dread filling her stomach.

"How about the fact that I was divorcing you." Sophie's voice was steady but it was laced with anger.

Sian's face froze in fear, her earlier smile had disappeared. "What?"

"Before the accident, we were in the middle of getting a divorce." Sophie replied, continuing before Sian had a chance to speak. "And don't try and deny it."

Sian stayed silent, unsure of what to say. The thing she had been dreading since the accident had happened...Sophie had remembered.

"You've been lying to me for nearly four months."

Sian knew there was no point in denying anything. "How did you find out?"

Sophie scoffed. "I bumped into Amy today. She seemed so surprised to see me wearing a wedding ring, told me I was going to leave you. She was quite glad that we worked out our problems actually." Sophie explained. "Told us we were a cute couple believe it or not. But I didn't believe her. My wife couldn't have lied to me. Couldn't have betrayed me like that. Not Sian, I thought, she wouldn't do that." Sian stayed silent unable to find any words. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I think anything I say right now is going to make things worse."

"You're unbelievable." Sophie said, her voice rising. "I want an explanation Sian. I want to know what possessed you to lie to me."

"This was my chance to get you back Soph, I didn't want to lose you again."

Sophie laughed harshly before standing up. "What did you think would happen when I found out? Did you think I'd laugh and say it's okay. I'll forget that you forged a happy marriage." Sophie asked. "Oh that's right. You didn't think I'd find out."

"I knew you would one day." Sian said quietly.

Sophie continued on her rant, not hearing Sian's latest comment. "Still I didn't believe Amy so I looked for some proof. Proof that my wife was actually a deceitful little bitch and then I found this." She threw the letter at Sian who had flinched from Sophie's insult. "You could have hidden the letter a bit better."

Sian scanned the letter, finding herself having deja-vu. The first time Sian had found out about the divorce, Sophie had thrown the letter at her. Now the exact same thing was happening again except this time, it was Sophie who was finding out.

If it had been under better circumstances, Sian would have laughed at the irony.

"I can't believe you would lie to me." Sophie began. "Or should I not be surprised? Is that why I was divorcing you? Because you lied to me."

"No," Sian replied.

"Well you're going to have fill me in because it appears I'm a little clueless."

Sian sat down on the bed and placed her hands on her thighs, rubbing them nervously. "You said we didn't have a marriage anymore."

Sophie sat down next to Sian and buried her head in her hands. "What happened to us?" Sophie asked, her voice a lot softer than it had previously been. "I mean this letter was issued months ago, I obviously don't remember it. I know we had arguments and I slept on the couch but that's a part of marriage. What happened to make me file for divorce?"

"I think things started going downhill after I forgot our anniversary" Sian stated quietly.

_Sophie sat at the kitchen table, her eyes fixated on the clock as the minute hand moved ridiculously slowly. Sian was already an hour later than she had said and it was safe to say that Sophie was getting annoyed._

_The sound of her phone ringing brought her back from her distraction._

"_Hello," Sophie's voice contained anger and it wasn't hard to miss but Sian did a good job of pretending._

"_Hey babe," Sian began. "Listen, I'm stuck at work and it looks like I'll be here for a while."_

"_You promised to be home an hour ago."_

_Sophie heard Sian sigh into the phone. "I know and I'm sorry."_

"_Sorry isn't good enough Sian." Sophie raised her voice slightly._

"_Why are you getting so angry? It's not as if we were going to do anything."_

"_Right," Sophie said." Nothing planned." She disconnected the phone call without waiting for a response from Sian and threw her phone onto the sofa. She turned around to the table which had been neatly decorated with a single candle burning in the centre. Sophie sighed and blew out the candle. "Happy anniversary Sian." She could feel the tears brimming in her eyes and she hated that Sian could make her cry so easily. She didn't have the energy to try and stop them so instead she let them consume her. She didn't know what hurt more, the fact that Sian had missed their anniversary or the fact that she didn't even seem to remember._

_Sophie made her way slowly to their bedroom and climbed under the covers, immediately cuddling Sian's pillow but it didn't provide as much comfort as she had hoped. She knew the pillow was becoming damp from her tears but she didn't move, instead she lay there and cried herself to sleep._

_A few hours had passed before Sian managed to escape from work and head home. She felt drained both physically and emotionally. Her and Sophie hadn't spent any time together recently and she knew it was all her fault, she was glad she couldn't see Sophie's face tonight when she cancelled once again because even the tone of her voice made Sian's heart ache. She glanced at her watch to see it was past 11, she hoped that Sophie would still be awake so they could talk but she knew even if she was, a talk with Sian was probably the last thing she would want._

_Sian opened the door to their flat, throwing her coat and bag onto the sofa immediately after entry. She felt for the light switch before flipping and as her eyes adjusted to the light, she caught sight of the kitchen table. A red tablecloth covering it, laid perfectly for two people, a bottle of champagne sitting in the middle beside an extinguished candle._

"_Shit," Sian whispered to herself as she mentally slapped herself. It was her and Sophie's sixth wedding anniversary and it had completely slipped her mind. Sian felt her mood sink ever lower and she hesitantly made her way to the bedroom. Sophie was sprawled out on the bed taking up both sides, clutching Sian's pillow for all it was worth._

_Sian felt a sharp pain coarse through her body, how could she have been so stupid? She walked around to her side of the bed and softly called Sophie's name hoping to wake her._

"_Sophie," she spoke a little louder this time, silencing herself as Sophie began to stir beside her._

_Her eyes opened and Sian could tell she'd been crying as her eyes were red and puffy. _

"_Finally decided to show up have ya?" Sophie spoke harshly and the words caused Sian to flinch but she couldn't help but notice how husky her wife's voice was after just waking up._

"_I am so sorry." Sian began to plead with Sophie. "I completely forgot –"_

"_That it was our anniversary, yeah I gathered that." Sophie sat up in bed and crossed her arms. _

"_I'll make it up to you. I promise." _

"_Don't make promises you can't keep." _

"_I'm not," Sian said as she attempted to crawl under the covers with Sophie._

"_What do you think you're doing?" Sophie asked incredulously. _

_Sian furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Getting into bed."_

_Sophie shook her head before throwing Sian's pillow at her, watching it hit her as she was caught off guard. "You can take the couch."_

"_Sophie."_

_Sophie could hear the frustration in her wife's voice and if anything it galvanised her to stick to her decision. "Did you not hear me? I don't want you in the bed Sian." Sophie said hurriedly before rolling over and closing her eyes in an attempt to prevent the tears from falling. She prayed that Sian wouldn't try and persuade her, would just take the pillow and go because she knew full well that if Sian pleaded with her, she'd give in. She always did when it came to Sian. _

"_I love you," she heard Sian speak softly before shuffling out of the bedroom, at the sound of the bedroom door closing, Sophie opened her eyes and it was only then that she realised she'd been holding her breath._

_Sian threw the pillow onto the couch before sitting down beside her. She buried her head in her hands and released a frustrated scream. Never in their relationship had either one of them had to sleep on the couch; their arguments were never that bad. The ironic thing this time was they hadn't even had an argument, oh no, Sian knew that would come tomorrow when Sophie was wide awake and ready to argue. _

_Sian closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep but she couldn't switch her mind off and she couldn't ignore the niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach that this was only the beginning of the problems._

"Something else must have happened." Sophie said as she stood and paced the bedroom. "I wouldn't have just divorced you for that."

Sian stayed sitting on the bed, her face buried in her hands. They'd already had this discussion once before and it destroyed Sian then, she wasn't sure she could do it again. It would do nothing but re-open old wounds.

"Sian, tell me." Sophie said, her voice rising again. She was struggling to keep her temper in check but she knew that shouting at Sian would only make this conversation harder than it was already going to be.

Sian closed her eyes to prevent the tears from falling. "I can't Sophie. I can't re-live it all. We've already had this argument once before. It's too hard. I can't have it again."

"Well then you shouldn't have lied. Would have saved yourself some bother."

Sian mumbled a quiet I know which Sophie had to strain to hear. Sophie couldn't hide the anger that protruded from her but she also couldn't pretend that the last couple of months had been the best she could remember. Sian had been the best wife recently, now Sophie may understand the change in her attitude but she couldn't just turn off her feelings for Sian. She couldn't pretend she wasn't still in love with Sian. "Sian please. I can't get my head around this. One minute we're happier than we've ever been and now I find out it's all been a lie."

"No," Sian lifted her head up straight away. "It's not been a lie."

Sophie scoffed and crossed her arms.

"Okay, I lied about the divorce but the way I feel about you, that's not a lie. I am so in love with you Sophie Webster, I always have been. When you filed for divorce it broke my heart and I saw the accident as my second chance. I could rectify my mistakes. We could be happy again." Sian said, omitting the role that the Webster's played in this. She didn't want to ruin Sophie's relationships with her family as well as their marriage.

"You let me think we were still happily married!" Sophie shouted, throwing her hands up in frustration. "Who does that?"

"I didn't want to do it." Sian admitted. "I wanted to tell you the truth straightaway."

"Then why didn't you?" Sophie asked.

"I wanted you more." Sian moved so she was standing in front of Sian. "I've wanted you since you walked out of that door and didn't look back."

"Did my mum and dad know?" Sophie asked. Sian's silence giving her the answer. "Rosie?" Again Sian stayed silent. "Oh how nice, you were all in it together. A family bonding session."

"Soph I'm sorry."

"Sorry you did it or sorry you got caught?"

"I know what I did was wrong but you can't blame me for wanting you back. You're the love of my life. I shouldn't have lied to you, I know that. But if I was given the chance to do it all again or tell you the truth, I'd do it again. Because at least that way I'd have you for a little bit longer." Sian said. "I'd give anything to have you in my life Sophie Webster because I am so utterly in love with you."

"You couldn't tell me the truth and try to work it out with me?" Sophie questioned. "Like any normal couple."

"It wouldn't have worked." Sian said sadly. "You were dead set on getting a divorce. This was my only option. I thought about telling you so many times especially when things got too much."

"That's why you called off the vows isn't it." Sophie said. "It had nothing to do with your dad at all. I must say congratulations; you pulled off a brilliant performance. I actually believed you." Sian opened her mouth but Sophie continued to speak. "Although I've believed your lies for months. You missed your calling Sian; you should have been an actress."

"Stop it."

"Oh I'm sorry, does the truth hurt?" Sophie goaded. She could see how hurt Sian was and how tears were welling up in her eyes but she was going to let Sian know how betrayed she felt.

Sian balled her hands into fists and for a second Sophie was afraid as she saw how angry Sian looked. "You don't know the meaning of the word hurt. You have no idea how hurt I was when you told me about the divorce. How hurt I was when you refused to speak to me. How hurt I was when you ignored me every single time I tried to talk to you or when the people I called my family turned on me because I'd hurt their precious daughter. But you were the one to hurt me."

"I'm sure I was hurting to."

Sian shook her head and laughed harshly. "Well you did a damn good job of not acting like it."

Sophie didn't know what to say. She had no recollection of any of this happening and now she was supposed to defend her actions to Sian when she didn't know how to. "Please tell me why I divorced you."

Sian moved to look out of the window which overlooked their balcony. "You may not believe me but I've always pictured our future together. We'd buy a house with a garden so our kids could play in it. We'd buy a swing set and a paddling pool. Maybe even get your dad to build a tree house. I always wanted one of them when I was a kid." Sophie couldn't help the small smile which tugged at the corner of her lips as Sian spoke. She'd never heard Sian speak this passionately about kids before. "I can imagine it you know." Sian stole a glance at Sophie through her reflection in the window. "You've wanted kids since we got married but I always put work ahead of you. Ahead of us and our family. I put you in second place but I never told you why."

"You weren't ready for kids. That's why."

"That's not true. I put work before you because I wanted to work my way up the career ladder, I wanted to be able to look after you properly. I wanted to be able to provide for our kids. I worked so much; you said work was my mistress." Sian turned around so she was looking back at Sophie. "I was never home. I spent all my time at work and when I finally came home, you were too angry to talk to me properly so we'd argue instead. Everything kind of went downhill after my dad died. I pushed you away and things weren't the same again. Then things got progressively worse when I forgot our anniversary and eventually you had enough. You wanted me but I wanted work more. But I want you to understand; I only worked that hard so that when we started a family, we wouldn't need to worry about money. Sophie, you always came first." Sian explained. "You gave me this letter..." Sian gestured to the letter she was still holding. "On the day I was going to tell you I'd booked us a doctor's appointment."

"An appointment for what?"

Sian threw the letter onto the floor. "An appointment to talk about having kids."

Sophie closed her eyes as she took in everything Sian told her. It didn't seem as if anything major had happened between them, from what Sian was telling her, it seemed as if she filed for divorce simply due to the fact that their marriage had been strained. "So I filed for divorce?" Sophie asked, still not believing that Sian had told her the full story. "There's nothing else?"

Sian stole a glance at the picture of her and Sophie in Blackpool. She'd spent months lying and it had gotten her nowhere. She was going to lose Sophie again so she might as well tell the truth. "You didn't trust me anymore."

"You didn't…" Sophie stopped herself from saying anything more. She felt sick even suggesting it. Sian wouldn't have cheated on her. Sure they had both flirted with other people over the years but that was as far as it ever went. Sophie knew deep down that Sian would never be unfaithful but she had always suffered with jealous insecurities when it came to Sian.

"No, I didn't cheat." Sian stated. "I never would but you didn't believe me. You were jealous of Kelly and you thought I was having an affair. You wouldn't listen to reason." Sian concluded.

Sophie closed her eyes at the name. One thing she could remember is Kelly. She never liked her, ever since she started working with Sian, the jealousy had been there. It wasn't that Sophie didn't trust Sian; it was that she didn't trust Kelly. Still, she had accused Sian of having an affair. That must have really hurt Sian, knowing her wife didn't fully trust her.

"We didn't have a marriage anymore." Sian said as she sat next to Sophie who hadn't moved in the last ten minutes. "At least not according to you."

"And according to you?"

"Things were really bad and it was my fault, I'll admit that but I never wanted a divorce. I wanted to try and work things out, I even suggested going to counselling."

Sophie laughed. "I thought you said you'd rather die than go to counselling?" A slight smile tugged at the corners of Sian's mouth as Sophie said the exact same thing as the last time they had this discussion. Only this time, her tone was more playful. "Why should we tell our problems to some nosey stranger who doesn't know a thing about us? That's what you said."

"I didn't want to lose you. I'd have done anything Sophie."

Sophie sought Sian's hand and entwined their fingers, not failing to notice the shock which registered on her wife's face. Sophie was shocked at herself. Since the accident, she felt like things were back the way they used to be. Back to when they first started dating. Even better than their honeymoon period after marriage. She may have originally wanted to divorce Sian but that was a different Sophie. She wasn't the same person now and she wasn't sure whether she wanted the same thing. Still she needed time to figure out what she wanted. However, the sheer fact that Sian had lied to her for nearly four months hurt her more than she ever thought imaginable and right now she didn't want to see her. "And what about now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Will you still do anything?" Sophie clarified.

Sian used her free hand to cup Sophie's cheek. "Sophie Webster, I will always do anything for you."

Sophie released her hand from Sian's. "Then can you leave."


	10. Chapter 10

_I don't feel as if this chapter is very good but I wanted to get something written to break through my writers block. Finishing Happy Ending gave me a bit of a writing burst.  
>FiercePixie7 – Thank you very much and this chapter is a little longer so I hope it satisfies<br>Devilsspy – You know how much your comments mean to me because I always say thank you but thank you once again. I truly don't know what else to say._

It had been two hours since Sophie had kicked Sian out of their house. She needed some space as she just couldn't take everything in. This morning she'd been happily married and now she's found out that the happy marriage was simply a façade.

It was simply a masquerade.

Sophie didn't know what to do. Clearly she had wanted their marriage to end seven months ago but now she wasn't so sure. Sian had been amazing towards her recently and all the reasons she'd filed for divorce now seemed to be non-existent.

That being said she was livid with Sian for lying to her. Sian had allowed her to believe that everything was fine when in reality it was far from being okay. Sophie paced the living room as she tried to decide what to do.

1 in 3 marriages end in divorce. When they first got married, Sophie had sworn that she would never be a part of that statistic in fact she swore she would beat it. She would have a happy marriage with Sian, till death parted them.

Sophie was plagued with doubts. She was a different person now than she had been before the accident and maybe she had fallen out of love with Sian but right now, she was still very much in love with her.

The way she saw it, she had two options.

File for divorce again.

Or she could stay married to Sian and maybe have the family she'd always wanted.

It should have been the simplest decision of her life but right now, it was proving to be the hardest.

Sophie turned towards the front door as she heard a key in the lock. She prayed that it wasn't Sian. She couldn't deal with seeing her so soon.

"Sophie," Rosie walked into the house, throwing her bag on the kitchen counter. "Oh good, I thought you might have gone AWOL."

"Since when do you have a key?"

"I don't." Rosie said as she placed them next to her bag. "These are Sian's."

Sophie's head snapped up at the mention of Sian. "Then why do you have them?"

"She came round to my place in tears, told me you kicked her out. Me being the saint that I am comforted her before pinching her keys once she fell asleep to come and talk some sense into ya."

"Talk sense into me!" Sophie exclaimed. "What makes you think I want to talk to you? You knew about the divorce as well." Rosie stayed silent. "So did mum and dad. I don't want to speak to any of you."

"We did what was best for you."

"What was best for me?" Sophie said angrily. "Don't you think I should decide that?"

"I don't think you know what that is though." Rosie stated. "You couldn't see that it was Sian."

"So everybody decided to lie to me? You all failed to tell me that Sian and I were getting a divorce. I didn't want to be with her Rosie but instead of being truthful you all allowed me to believe that there was nothing wrong with our marriage. You neglected to tell me I didn't love her anymore."

"You've always been in love with her Sophie."

"I was divorcing her Rosie!" Sophie was shouting now, her emotions unable to be tamed any longer.

"God I'm fed up with hearing that word and I'm fed up with both you and Sian using it as an excuse for ignoring the truth."

Sophie stared at her sister with utter disbelief. "And what is the truth?"

"You love Sian and she loves you. You were scared of losing her so you cut the cord because at least that way, you were still in control. She was always working and it put a strain on your marriage. You were tired of trying to fix it so you gave up. You never really wanted the divorce, you just felt as though that was the only option." Rosie answered as if it was the simplest answer in the world.

"That's not true."

"No?" Rosie asked as she pulled her phone out of her bag before checking the time and putting it back. "Then tell me what is?"

Sophie stared at her sister who was giving her a questioning stare and she found herself unable to speak.

"Yeah, I thought as much."

"That's not fair, I don't remember the divorce but I obviously had my reasons."

Rosie stood and walked over to Sophie, wrapping her arms around her younger sister, kissing her on the cheek. "Well I hope you remember soon because otherwise you're going to lose Sian all over again and honestly…" Rosie pulled back and wiped the lipstick mark away with her thumb. "I don't think Sian can lose you again."

Sophie stayed silent, processing everything Sian had said. She didn't want to lose Sian.

"Look babes, I need to get to work but I'll be back later."

Rosie started to walk towards the door before Sophie shouted her name. "I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do."

Rosie paused with her hand on the door. "Only you can decide that." She walked back over to the counter and picked up Sian's keys. "But you know where she is when you do decide."

Rosie closed the door behind her and left Sophie alone in the house. The visit from her sister hadn't really helped her at all; she still had no idea what to do. She looked down at her wedding and engagement ring and she couldn't help but smile as she remembered how happy she had been these last few months.

Hearing Sian speak that passionately about kids had made Sophie's heart swell. She had wanted kids since they first married and whenever Sian said no, it broke her heart. She pictured her life with Sian whenever she was alone. She dreamed of having three children, they all would have blue eyes, her kids needed to have Sian's eyes because they were so beautiful. Sophie had always wanted a boy and then twin girls but honestly as long as she had kids with Sian, she didn't care what sex they were. They'd need to buy a bigger house and Sian was right, they needed to have a garden. Sophie had always wanted to buy a puppy as well and Sian had promised her that one day, she would buy her one.

Sophie had to wonder whether Sian meant that or whether it was just another lie.

When Sian was explaining her actions she had seemed genuinely sorry and Sophie felt for her but it was her own fault they were in this situation. Still Sophie had to wonder what would have happened if Sian hadn't lied to her. The last few months Sophie couldn't deny that she had been happy, in one respect, she was almost happy that Sian had lied.

God, she was so confused. She grabbed the letter which still rested on their bed. She skimmed through the details again and again before she finally remembered something.

"_Are you sure you want to do this Soph?" Rosie asked as she contemplated what her younger sister had just told her. "I mean getting a divorce is a bit step, surely you can work this out."_

"_There's nothing to work out." Sophie said. "Our marriage is over."_

"_What does Sian think?" Rosie asked but Sophie ignored the question. "Sophie, please tell me you've talked to her about this."_

"_There is nothing to talk to her about." Sophie replied. "This is my decision and nothing you or anybody else can say is going to change that."_

"_Marriage isn't a one way street Soph, you have to make joint decisions. Do you honestly expect Sian to just agree to a divorce?"_

_Sophie shook her head, ignoring Rosie's eyes. "She can fight it all she wants but I'm not backing down so eventually she'll have to."_

_Rosie sat down on the kitchen stool. "I don't understand, you two have always seemed happy." _

_Sophie laughed harshly. "We haven't been happy for a long time Rosie. All we seem to do is fight and I've been sleeping on the couch for the past month because I can't stand to be in the same bed as her because I don't recognise her anymore."_

"_Why didn't you tell me?" _

_Sophie shrugged her shoulders. "It's my marriage, my problem." _

"_There must be a way to solve your problems without resorting to divorce." Rosie suggested. "You know how much that'll kill Sian."_

"_What about how much this is killing me?"_

"_Soph…"_

"_No." Sophie said. "I feel like I'm trapped in a marriage with somebody I don't know. Sian isn't the person I married and she hasn't been for a very long time. She spends all her time at work or with Kelly and when I finally get to see her, we fight."_

_Rosie stopped tapping her fingers. "Kelly?" The cogs in her brain started working before her eyes widened. "Sophie Lauren Webster, are you saying Sian is having an affair."_

"_No." Sophie replied quickly. "I...I don't know." Sophie said allowing her doubts to come to the surface. "She says no but they spend so much time together. Rosie..." Sophie ducked her head slightly. "What if she is?"_

_Rosie grabbed her sister's hand and squeezed it tightly. "She wouldn't cheat on you." _

"_How do you know?"_

"_Because she loves you and I gave her the sibling talk when you first got together."_

"_The sibling talk?" Sophie questioned._

_Rosie nodded her head proudly. "Yeah you know, hurt her and I'll kill you. The standard threats. I think she was genuinely scared of me though." Sophie managed a small chuckle. "Is that why you're divorcing her? Because you're worried she's having an affair." _

"_It's part of the reason." Sophie explained. "I just don't think we're moving forward. I want kids and she knows that but she doesn't seem bothered. She's not the same person I fell in love with ten years ago. My Sian is just a distant memory now."_

"_Give her a chance to be the Sian you love."_

"_I gave her a chance...she blew it." Sophie shook her head as she faced Rosie. "I'm filing for divorce."_

"_Hey, are you two coming back to the party anytime soon?" Sian asked as she came up behind Sophie, stroking her shoulder delicately, trying not to react as she noticed Sophie shrink away from her touch. _

"_Yeah I'm going to find Jason, he's probably wondering where I am." Rosie said, smacking Sophie playfully as she muttered 'not likely'._

"_I should get back too."_

_Sophie halted as Sian grabbed her wrist. "Can we talk?"_

"_You've just come to ask us if we're going back to the party, now I'm trying to and you don't want me to." Sophie said, removing her wrist from Sian's grasp._

"_Well I'm sorry for wanting to spend a couple of minutes with my wife."_

_Sophie scoffed. "Now you want to talk. What about for the past two months when I've wanted to talk? How about every night when I sleep on the couch?"_

_This time it was Sian's turn to scoff. "Right because I want you to do that. I want to talk."_

"_I'm going back to the party." Sophie moved past Sian who didn't grab her this time._

"_Just remember this next time you want to talk." Sian said bitterly. "At least I tried." _

"_Why don't you remember all those times I've asked to talk." Sophie said harshly._

_Sian closed her eyes knowing that Sophie's words were true. She had tried to talk to Sian constantly the last few weeks but Sian was always too busy. Truth was she was afraid of talking to Sophie because she feared the outcome. "I'm sorry..."_

"_Yeah..." Sophie said. "I hear that a lot."_

_Sian sighed and closed her eyes. "What's happening to us Sophie?" _

_Sophie turned to look at her wife. "We're just going through a rough patch. It's normal." She bit her lip as the lie came out of her mouth. This was much more than a rough patch, they both knew that. Sophie felt a twinge of guilt as she saw her wife's hurt, Sian had no idea what was coming._

_Sian opened her eyes and looked back at her wife. "This rough patch has lasted months. We barely talk, we don't touch each other. God Sophie, I can't remember the last time we kissed, let alone had sex."_

"_Is that all that matters to you? The fact that we haven't had sex in months."_

"_No, of course not."_

_Sophie huffed and crossed her arms. "God you're unbelievable. Is it any wonder we're in a rough patch with your attitude?"_

"_What? So this is my fault?" Sian asked, standing in front of Sophie. _

"_I'm not the one always working, I'm not the one pushing us apart and I'm not the one who doesn't want kids." Sophie countered. "So yeah, this is your fault." _

_Sian stayed silent as she let Sophie's words sink her. She was right; this rough patch was down to her. "Where are you going?"_

_Sophie walked out of the patio door. "Back to the party."_

_Sian slid down the kitchen wall and brought her knees up to her chin. She knew that she was losing Sophie and she didn't know how to get her back. A tear fell down her cheek as she thought of a life without Sophie because if she didn't do something soon, that was the life she'd be living. _

Sophie threw the letter into the nearby bin before grabbing her keys. She needed to talk to Sian.

"How did she seem? Did she ask about me? Did she seem angry at me?" Sian bombarded Rosie with questions as soon as she walked through the door from work.

"She's just found out everything she thought was real the last few months was a lie. Yes she seemed angry"

"It was real. Just because it was on the basis of a lie doesn't mean that my feelings weren't real." Sian said. "I've loved her since I was 16."

"If it helps, she's angry at me and my mum and dad." Rosie said. "I don't think she knows what to do."

Sian sat down deflated. "I've lost her for good now haven't I." It was a statement more than a question. "I never should have gone along with this. God I should never have listened to you or Sally or Kevin...I've lost Sophie because of all of you."

"You lost her before we got involved."

"I could have won her back."

Rosie stared at Sian with a questioning gaze. "Do you really believe that? You were separated for four months and you didn't try to win her back once. You just gave up."

Sian's head snapped up. "I gave up? I tried to speak to her every day since she left but she ignored me. She took her stuff from our flat when I was at work just so she could avoid me. She told me to leave her alone."

"I didn't know..."

"No, nobody knew, everybody thought Sophie was the only victim in this scenario but that wasn't the case." Sian said. "And then I went along with the insane plan and now I've lost her all over again."

"Sian..."

"Do you know what it's like to have your heart broken twice by the same person in the space of several months?" Sian asked. "Sad thing is, I love her so much, I'd do it all again. As long as I had her."

"I'm so sorry Sian."

Sian shook her head. "Don't be, it's my fault."

"It's as much mine as yours. I should never have persuaded you to go along with the lie. I should have set her straight the minute she woke up."

"Rosie, it was my decision to lie to her. Yes you all persuaded me but at the end of the day, I made the decision." Sian stated. "Anyway, I was her wife; it was my fault she even filed for divorce."

"Are."

Sian looked at Rosie questioningly. "What?"

"You are her wife." Rosie clarified. "She'll come around. It's Sophie. She loves you just as much as you love her. Trust me, I know these things."

Sian smiled sadly. "Maybe this time you're wrong."

A knock at the front door interrupted the pair of them. "I'll get it. It'll be Jason forgetting his bloody keys again."

Sian laughed quietly. Rosie and Jason's relationship had always been a strange one but Sian had to admit that they were perfect for each other.

"Sian, you have a visitor." Sian's head darted to the right. Sophie was standing beside Rosie, playing with her fingers nervously.

"Sophie."

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Rosie stood awkwardly between the wives, her eyes shooting between the pair of them. Neither one said anything, they just looked intently at each other, almost as if they could understand each other from their eyes, there was no need for words. Their eyes said everything. "Well I'm going to leave you two alone. I've never felt more awkward."

Sian laughed slightly as Rosie left the flat. "She sure tells it how it is."

"It's a blessing and a curse all in one."

Silence fell between the two of them once more. It wasn't often that they went without speaking, even during their rough patch they still spoke, albeit through arguments and the words uttered were often quite harsh. But they still spoke.

"I didn't think you'd want to talk to me." It was Sian who broke the silence.

"I remembered telling Rosie what I was planning to do."

Sian raised her head to look at her wife, ex-wife, estranged wife; she didn't really know what Sophie was to her anymore. "What?"

"I was reading the letter again trying to decide what to do about our situation and I remembered." Sophie said slowly. "I remembered telling her I was going to divorce you."

"That's..."

"I remember my reasoning behind it."

Sian stood up and walked towards Rosie's kitchen. "I know your reasoning. I remember when you handed me the letter, I remember you telling me why you wanted a divorce. I don't need to hear it again. It was bad enough the first time around."

Sophie nodded. "My point is that my initial reasons for wanting a divorce don't exist anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"You were never home, you didn't want kids..."

"Sophie!" Sian said a little louder than previous. "Please don't give me a running commentary of your reasons. I know them all."

"I was going to say that now you're home a lot more. We haven't argued in the past four months. My former reasons are non-existent." Sophie stood and walked towards Sian. "Were you serious when you said you were ready for kids?"

Sian exhaled loudly before nodding her head in agreement. "I wasn't lying Sophie; I had booked us a doctor's appointment. I was trying to fix us but you didn't want us to be fixed."

"When I left, did you try and get me back or did you let the divorce happen?"

Sian's eyes found mine. "Why are you asking me these questions?"

Sophie walked towards her bad and picked up her purse. Walking back to Sian she handed her a small photo. "I'm asking you these questions because I need to know whether we're going to make it through this. I'm asking you because we were happy for nearly ten years before apparently things went south. I'm asking you because for the last few months I have fallen more in love with you than I ever thought possible. I don't think I'm ready to just let that go."

Sian glanced at the photo before smiling at Sophie. It was the picture of them in Blackpool, the very same picture Sian had on her bedside table. "I tried to get you back but you were so determined that the divorce was happening you wouldn't listen."

"It sounds like I was a bitch."

Sian shrugged her shoulders but dodged the question. "I never gave up hope though. Part of me thought that we still had a chance."

"Why?"

Sian grabbed Sophie's hand softly and fingered her rings. "Because you never took these off." Sian explained. "I feared the day that you would give me them back because then we really would be over but that never happened."

"Rosie said I was scared."

"I told you the same thing." Sophie furrowed her eyebrows and waited for Sian to explain. "Just before you left me, I told you that you were scared of not being able to fix our problems so instead of trying, you were bailing."

A ghost of a smile crept onto Sophie's lips. "I never noticed how alike you and Rosie were before now."

"We are not alike." Sian joked.

"You both know me better than I know myself." Sophie clarified. "I think I need that. I need somebody who knows me and who better than you."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Sophie took the photo back from Sian and placed it back in her purse. "Come for a drink with me." Sophie said firmly as she watched Sian smile sheepishly.

"Like a date?" Sian asked bewildered.

Sophie nodded. "I know I was divorcing you. But the key word is was. I can't remember disliking you enough to want a divorce. Hell I can't really remember us arguing apart from a few small ones. And these past few months I've fallen more and more in love with you. You've been perfect. I mean, I know now that it was probably just so I wouldn't find out but still, you've been amazing." Sian smiled as Sophie spoke. "So I haven't decided anything yet but maybe we can take things slowly?"

Sian had never agreed to anything so quickly in her life.

"Thank you." Sian said as she paid the bartender before following Sophie to an unoccupied booth. "For giving me a second chance."

"I haven't said I am yet and this doesn't mean I forgive you." Sophie stated firmly. "Don't get me wrong, I'm still furious at you for lying to me but I can't just cut you out of my life. Maybe the old me could but right now I couldn't imagine my life without you."

"Still, thank you."

Sophie smiled genuinely at Sophie. "Well you said that everything was real between us the last few months...except for the obvious."

"It was."

Sophie was about to speak when the pair were interrupted. "Hey Sophie, nice to see you again." Sian stared at a slutty blonde girl who had sidled into the booth on the other side of Sophie and was currently getting far too close to Sophie for her liking. Sophie stared at the blonde with a confused glaze covering her eyes. "You never called."

"Called?"

"We have great sex and you never call me back." The blonde moved even closer to Sophie, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I was hurt." The blonde placed a hand against her chest and feigned hurt. "I thought from the way you screamed my name that you would definitely be back."

"Excuse me." Sian said, standing up in a fury, her eyes never leaving the blonde. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

The blonde didn't seem fazed at Sian's behaviour in the slightest. "So this is why you never called me back Soph." The blonde stood up so she was facing Sian and looked her up and down. Sian clenched her fists as she heard the slut call Sophie by her nickname. "Gotta say, I don't really rate her." She sneered.

Sian's fist connected with the blonde's face before she could hurl another insult towards her. She glanced at her wife who was staring at the blonde with wide eyes, confusion etched all over her face. The blonde contemplated fighting back but she wasn't stupid, she could see the fury behind the other girl's eyes. She blew a kiss to Sophie before walking away quickly as she saw Sian's fist clench.

Sian waited for the blonde to disappear before turning to her wife. "What the fuck Soph?"

Sophie closed her eyes tightly.

And she thought things couldn't get more complicated.


	11. Chapter 11

_Here's the next chapter, I hope its okay. I am struggling a bit to write this so I think I'm going to wrap it up soon. Hope you enjoy :)_

Sian threw her keys onto the kitchen counter hard before pacing the living room. Sophie rested against the closed front door, waiting for Sian to say something. Sian hadn't said a word since they had both found out that Sophie had slept with somebody else during their short separation but Sophie could tell that she was furious. Sian had always been a chatty person with a very bubbly personality and she was hardly ever quiet, Sophie knew that when she was, something was wrong.

And unfortunately, this time, Sophie knew that she would bear the brunt of Sian's temper.

"Four months Sophie!" Sophie flinched at the volume of Sian's voice when she finally spoke. "We were separated for four months and you already slept with somebody else."

"I don't…"

"Yeah I know." Sian's voice was still just as loud. "You don't remember anything."

"You can drop that accusing tone." Sophie shouted back. "It's not my fault I crashed. Not my fault I lost my memory. You should be grateful I did. Gave you another chance didn't it."

"Don't you dare turn this back around on me."

"Oh I'm sorry, do you not like being reminded that you're a liar and a manipulative one come to that." Sophie bit back.

"You're the one in the wrong here!" Sian shook her head in anger. "I may have lied but at least I didn't sleep with somebody else when we were married." Sian shouted before she started to laugh. "And to think you accused me of cheating on you. Don't you just love irony?"

"We were separated Sian…I didn't cheat on you."

"We were still married Sophie." Sian said. "The divorce wasn't finalised, so yeah, you cheated." Sian closed her eyes and turned her back on her wife. "Four goddamn months. What you missed sex that much you jumped into bed with the first person who looked at you?"

"I don't know Sian." Sophie shouted back. "I can't remember."

"I can't believe you."

"Oh yeah because I'm the villain in this story." Sophie said making Sian turn back around. "So I guess that makes you the good guy. We'll just forget about the lying, the betrayal and the fact that you didn't act like my wife when we were married." Sophie counted each thing on her fingers. "We'll let you be the martyr…the one who doesn't do anything wrong."

"That is not what I'm saying." Sian stated. "Sure I've done some bad things but I was always faithful to you."

"So if I had lied to you about getting a divorce, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Sian narrowed her eyes at Sophie. "You seem to be forgetting that one of the reasons you filed for that aforementioned divorce was because you didn't trust me. Oh how the tables have turned."

"I can't remember." Sophie said.

"No," Sian said as she faced Sophie again. "You were probably drunk right." Sian opened her mouth in preparation for hurling another load of insults at Sophie before she thought of something and the thought of it made her sick to her stomach. "Wait a minute; I'm jumping the gun here. That slut never said when you slept together."

"So..." Sophie asked, although she knew full well what Sian was implying.

"So I'm just presuming you slept with her when we were separated. Did you sleep with her when we were married?"

Sophie's head snapped up and her heart ached as she saw how broken her wife looked. Her previous state of anger had been replaced with sadness and worry. "No!"

"What about when we were fighting?" Sian asked quietly. "We were in a rough patch for months. I mean like you said, I was never here. Was it then?"

Sophie wanted to be able to put an end to the thoughts that Sian would be having but she couldn't. "I can't remember." Sophie said honestly. "I wouldn't have cheated on you though."

Sian scoffed. "You thought I did." She said. "Maybe you wanted to even out the playing fields."

"Do you really think I'm that spiteful?"

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Sian said rubbing her eyes furiously. This was the second argument the pair had had today and Sian was becoming tired of it all. Love shouldn't be this hard. Love should be simple. It should be easy. But it's anything but.

"I can't believe you."

"Four months." Sian stated before she stood in front of Sophie, close enough to feel the other girl's breath on her face. "Why?" She shouted the question in Sophie's face and Sophie flinched at the ferocity in her wife's tone. "I'm going to assume it happened when we were separated because if it didn't, you are not the person I fell in love with. So I want to know why."

Sophie shook her head. "I've never seen that girl before today; I met her for the first time just like you. I found out that I slept with her for the first time just like you. I'm in the dark just as much as you." Sophie explained. "Do you know what it feels like to not remember anything for a large period of time? Every day I learn something new, we were separated and now apparently I've cheated."

"So you admit you cheated now."

"I didn't have a wife anymore Sian, I was free and single." Sophie admitted, resting against the kitchen counter although as soon as the words left her mouth she wanted to take them back.

"For the last time, we were still married Sophie!" Sian shouted before focusing on what Sophie had said. "And just so you know, I don't want you to be free and single. I want us to be together."

"I know that." Sophie said quietly.

"I don't want you to leave, even after finding out about that girl; I still want to work on us." Sian said. "I know I lied but you will always be it for me. It's up to you whether I'm it for you."

"I want you Sian." Sian nodded and a ghost of a smile filled her lips. "And I want us to be together but you have to understand, it's going to take time before I trust you again." And just like that, her smile disappeared.

"You don't trust me?" Sian asked. "Sophie, are you forgetting what we're arguing about? You're the one that had sex with somebody else."

"We weren't together." Sophie exclaimed.

"I just...I don't understand why you can't trust me when I'm the one that has been completely faithful to you. When we were separated, I didn't even look at another woman."

"Well bully for you for being faithful, shame you couldn't be honest."

"Fine I lied. We know that now; shout at me all you want." Sian said throwing her hands up in the air. "Because I lied to you and now I'm always going to be in the wrong and you're never going to let me forget it."

"No..."

"No, you're right. Not always because right now, you're in the wrong." Sian stated, her eyes regaining some of their earlier fury. "So I'll ask again, why did you sleep with her?"

"Sian you know I can't remember. Why do you keep asking?"

"Because I want an answer." Sian screamed the words and Sophie stepped back as Sian slammed her palms against the kitchen counter. Sian watched out of the corner of her eye as Sophie took two steps back. She didn't mean to frighten her. "I'm sorry." Sian placed her hand against her forehead. "I'm so sorry."

Sophie swallowed knowing that Sian wasn't just apologising for losing her temper. She walked over to her wife and wrapped her up in her arms, both of them sinking to the floor. "It's okay." Sophie kissed Sian's forehead as her wife started crying into her chest.

"This is all my fault, everything." Sian mumbled. "I was a horrible wife, I made you leave me, it was my fault you were in an accident and it was my fault you slept with somebody else. I pushed you away for months; I'm surprised it took you that long to stray. I shouldn't have lied. I should have been a better wife." Sian pulled back so she could see Sophie. "I should have been the wife you deserve and I am so sorry."

Sophie stroked Sian's hair as the latter continued to cry. The flat was plagued by an eerie silence, Sophie soothingly saying 'it'll be okay' the only noise to be heard. She always hated seeing her wife upset, Sian was usually such a happy person, it was just her personality but when she was sad, any signs of her former personality disappeared. She became a shadow of her former self.

"Why are you sitting here?" Sian said as she pulled away from Sophie's hug once more.

"What?"

Sian wiped her eyes before sniffing. "After everything I've done, I don't deserve you, why are you here? After finding out what I did why haven't you filed for divorce again?" Sian asked. "I would have."

Sophie cupped her wife's cheek. "If it was anybody else, so would I. But what you said earlier, you're right. You're it for me, you're my soul mate Sian; I'm not giving on you. I'm not giving up on us. Besides, I'm in the wrong too."

"You're one of a kind."

Sophie laughed before smiling shyly. "Yeah, well so are you."

"Probably a good job. We wouldn't want a bunch of people running about the place ruining their marriages."

"Marriages end all the time." Sophie said softly. "The jump between simply being in a relationship to being married is huge. Why do you think everybody told us to wait until we were older? Remember we wanted to get married..."

"When we were 18." Sian interrupted. "We were going to wait until I had finished college and then go to Gretna Green. We weren't going to tell anyone but then..."

"Rosie found out because she found the ring." It was Sophie's turn to interrupt. "She basically interrogated us until we told her everything. There was no chance of us skulking off to Gretna Green once she knew. Then when our parents found out, I think that was the final straw."

"You're too young to get married, what happens if you break up? A wedding isn't just a day, it's a lifetime." Sian imitated what Sally had said to them.

"They all told us to wait till we were older and they were right." Sophie said. "Waiting until we were older worked. We had the money to afford a bigger wedding, we could invite everybody we wanted and we got to get married after months of planning instead of a one day trip to Gretna Green."

"Still messed it up though didn't I."

Sophie shook her head. "I seem to have blamed you for the reasoning behind the divorce but I have to accept fault too. It takes two to make a marriage work. I gave up and I shouldn't have." Sophie said. "I should have stayed and tried to fix us. I should have tried counselling."

Sian chuckled before looking around the living room. "I've always wondered what would have happened if you didn't give me the letter."

"And..."

"If you'd never given me that letter, I would have told you about the doctor's appointment." Sian explained. "If you'd never filed for divorce, one of us could have been pregnant right now. We could have been starting a family." Sian looked at me, her eyes holding worry and panic. "We're going to get through this right."

"Everything's a little bit more complicated now." Sophie said. "It's not just your lies that we need to get over, we have to deal with my infidelity."

"I forgive you for sleeping with her."

"What? How can you just forgive me?" Sophie asked. "Only minutes ago you were screaming at me."

Sian shrugged her shoulders. "What's the point in being angry? It only makes things worse. I could stay angry at you for the rest of my life but what would that achieve? I forgive you Sophie because I love you."

"I can't imagine my life without you."

"I don't have to be out of your life. Sophie it's up to you." Sian's mouth curled upwards slightly. "It's Sophie's choice."

It had been several hours since their argument and both women had retired to separate rooms in their flat. They had agreed to let everything simmer down before speaking again, giving both of them a chance to think. As soon as she'd closed the bedroom door she had remembered the girl. It was almost as if arguments triggered her memory. She remembered filing for divorce after her massive argument with Sian and now after yet another argument, she'd remembered something else.

"_I'm going to be at home a lot more now Sophie. This promotion means I can spend less time in the office." Sian pleaded. "Things are going to change. If you just give us a couple more months, everything will be different. I promise you. We don't need to go ahead with the divorce."_

_Sophie sighed heavily before placing her hand against her forehead. "Yes we do."_

"_Why?" _

"_Sian..."_

"_Is this still because of Kelly? Do you still not believe me?" Sian asked, her eyes narrowing._

_Sophie shook her head. "This isn't to do with Kelly."_

"_When you gave me the letter you said it was." _

"_Okay it is to do with Kelly but that's just a part of it Sian. Everything's just gone downhill far too quickly; I don't see a way back for us."_

_Sian bit her lip. "There is always a way back Sophie." _

"_Not this time." Sophie said and Sian could hear the sadness in her voice. That sadness gave her hope, hope that Sophie still felt something for her._

"_What do you want me to do?" Sian asked. "Whatever you want, I'll do it. As long I get you, I will do whatever you want."_

"_Sian..."_

"_Do you want me to quit my job?" Sian questioned. "Because I will, you just say the word and I will quit tomorrow."_

"_That's not what I want. You love your job."_

"_I love you more."Sian grabbed Sophie's hand._

"_Don't." Sophie shook her head. _

"_Sophie I love you."_

_Sophie pulled her hand out of Sian's grasp. "I can't." Sophie grabbed her keys from her bag before placing them in Sian's open palm._

"_So this is it? We're over." Sian stated as she closed her palm. "We've been married for six years, together for ten. Are you seriously just going to throw all that away?" _

"_Don't try and make me feel guilty!" Sophie shouted. "This isn't my fault."_

"_I'm not the one who filed for divorce." _

"_I am not having this argument with you again Sian." Sophie said before fastening her coat. _

_Sian closed her eyes. When Sophie first handed her the letter she thought that she would be able to convince Sophie that a divorce wasn't necessary. She thought it was just Sophie blowing hot air, a threat nothing more but now she knew that wasn't the case. _

"_I'm sorry but we're over."_

After their argument Sophie had gone to a club to drown her sorrows and it was there she met Louise. It started off as simple flirting but part of Sophie always knew that it would go further than that. When Louise bought her yet another drink, Sophie knew what would happen but she didn't stop it. She was too drunk and too upset to think properly and because of that, she made the biggest mistake of her life.

She slept with somebody who wasn't Sian.

Sophie contemplated telling Sian about what she remembered but she didn't want to hurt Sian anymore than necessary. She just wanted to forget about Louise and focus on the problems she was having with Sian.

Her wife.

Sophie threw herself back onto the bed, Sian's earlier words going round and round in her head. _Sophie's choice. _

In the book the character, Sophie, had to decide between her son and daughter. One would live and the other would die.

Now that is an impossible choice.

Sophie knew that her choice wasn't even in the same league as that, choosing whether or not to stay with Sian, well that's simple in comparison. She knew that Sian had simply used a play on words. Sophie loved Sian, that much she knew and she wanted to be with her in spite of the lies Sian spent the last few months telling her. She had decided to give Sian another chance, that was why they were having a drink together. But now Sophie felt enormous guilt for sleeping with somebody else and it made her wonder whether staying together was the right thing to do.

Sian had said she forgave it but surely she couldn't completely mean it. Can you ever truly forgive an unfaithful spouse?

She grabbed ten pence from her pocket before rolling it over in her hand. If only the decision could be as easy as the flip of a coin.

Heads, she stays with Sian.

Tails, she leaves.

Sophie flicked the coin in the air before covering it with the palm of her hand once it had landed. She lifted her palm and glanced at the coin.

Tails.


	12. Chapter 12

_I know it's been a few months since I've updated this and I apologise for that but I did promise that this would be the next thing I updated. I've really been struggling to write this story which is why I've wrapped it up in this chapter. That's probably why it feels a bit rushed but I had nowhere else to take it. I also didn't know how to pad the chapter out so the italics are just random memories of their relationship. Anyway, here's the final chapter of Second Chance, I want to thank everybody who has read it and commented of it. I really appreciate it and I hope the final chapter is good enough_

Sophie placed the coin back in her pocket before looking at the photo frame which rested on the wall. It was a picture from the wedding day and Sophie immediately smiled at the sight. They both looked so happy and content in their lives, they had no idea how hard married life would eventually become for the pair of them.

They had no idea how married life could potentially destroy them.

When they were younger, they had their fair share of problems but their relationship was never threatened. They had overcome whatever problems were put in the way including coming out to both of their families. When Sian's mum disowned her practically, Sian was distraught. Sophie had never seen her look so devastated and sure they fought but there was never ever doubt that they would stay together.

Sophie fell backwards and lay on the bed, her head immediately resting on Sian's pillow rather than her own. Sophie smiled at how much the pillow smelt like her wife. Whenever Sian went away on business trips, Sophie would always sleep on Sian's side of the bed, as if it somehow made it feel like she was there. It was almost as if being able to smell Sian made her feel comforted and safe.

"_You're on my side of the bed." Sian smirked as she gripped Sophie's waist tightly and rolled them both over so she was on top but on Sophie's side of the bed. "Much better."_

"_I don't remember being given a choice in which side of the bed I sleep on." I replied playfully._

_Sian shrugged her shoulders. "I like the left side of the bed…makes it easier to be the big spoon."_

_Sophie laughed at her girlfriend's comment before pecking her on the nose. "I love you."_

Sophie smiled at the memory before sighing heavily. When she first found out that Sian had lied to her, that their happy marriage had basically been a fabrication, she thought leaving Sian would be the easiest decision of her life. She didn't think that she would weigh her options; she thought that she would just leave Sian and that would be that.

But life is never that simple.

Every time Sophie thought of a reason to leave Sian, she was flooded by memories of why they should stay together. Sian is and always will be her first love, the memories they shared will never disappear but that wasn't all Sophie wanted. She didn't just want old memories, she wanted Sian and she wanted the ability to create new memories.

She wanted them to have a family, like they'd talked about. Like they would have had, if she hadn't filed for divorce.

"_Do you ever think about the future Sian?" Sophie asked as they sat her in bedroom. They had been dating for a year now and Sophie had been trying to approach the subject for a while now._

_Sian looked up from her magazine. "Yeah." She said quickly. "I mean you have to plan ahead."_

"_What are your plans?"_

_Sian shrugged her shoulders briefly before looking back at her magazine. "The usual I guess, go to university and get a good job."_

_Sophie deflated at her comment. She had meant their future, not just Sian's. "What about us?" Sian raised her head again and gestured for Sophie to elaborate on her comment. "Do you think about our future?"_

"_Oh." Sian said finally realising what Sophie was getting at. "Yeah of course I do."_

"_And…" _

_Sian threw the magazine off the bed and grabbed Sophie's hand tugging her closer to her. "I picture us married, in a modest house, not too big or too small with three kids and a dog." She smiled shyly as she told Sophie what was effectively her dream. "Got to have a dog."_

"_You think about us having kids?" Sophie asked surprised._

_Sian blushed. "Yeah, I mean not now but in the future. Why wouldn't we have kids?"_

_Sophie's tongue darted out and licked her lips. "What makes you think we'd be any good as parents?"_

_Sian smiled and kissed Sophie quickly. "What makes you think we wouldn't?_

Sophie placed her hands over her face and sighed heavily. She couldn't stop thinking about Sian and their past, she was being flooded with memories and each one made her realise why she loved Sian in the first place and why she couldn't just walk away from her.

She raised her head at the sound of something smashing elsewhere in their flat. Sophie climbed off the bed and left her bedroom only to be greeted by the sight of Sian crawling on the kitchen floor, picking up broken pieces of glass. Sian looked up at the sound of footsteps, an apologetic look on her face.

"Sorry, it slipped."

Sophie knelt down beside Sian and picked up some of the remaining pieces before noticing Sian's hand. "You've cut yourself."

Sian looked down at her hand. "I didn't even notice."

Sophie grabbed Sian's hand gently to inspect the cut before grabbing a cloth from the drawer and pressing it against Sian's cut. "You've always been clumsy. One day I'll invest in plastic cups and plates, that way you can't smash anything." A small smile appeared on Sian's face. "What?"

"You said one day."

Sophie furrowed her eyebrows. "And?"

"That implies we're still going to be together." Sian said quietly, scared of Sophie saying that wasn't what she meant.

"Stand up." Sophie helped Sian stand before guiding her to the sink. "It's going to sting."

"Yes mum." Sian replied playfully, fully aware that Sophie had avoided the question before grimacing as the water hit her fresh cut.

"I do believe that was karma."

Sian bumped Sophie's hip. "Don't rub it in or it'll get you too."

"I don't think it needs stiches." Sophie said as she inspected the cut before disappearing into the bathroom, returning a moment later. "Some Neosporin and a plaster and you should be as right as rain."

"What? No kiss." Sian retorted before mentally shouting at herself, she probably shouldn't have said that.

Sophie couldn't help the smirk which filled her face. She couldn't pretend that she didn't like the flirtatious tone in Sian's voice. It was almost as if that little bit of flirting made the tense atmosphere dissipate. It was as if things were back to normal. Sophie placed the plaster on Sian's cut before bringing her hand to her mouth, placing a small kiss over the plaster. "Better?"

"Yeah." Sian stared as Sophie cocked her head and tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. Sian cupped Sophie's cheek with her uninjured hand and dropped her gaze to Sophie's lips. Her breathing became ragged as she debated whether or not to close the gap between them. If she did, she could make things worse. That being said, the opposite could just as easily happen. Deciding she'd never know unless she took the risk, Sian brought their lips together fully expecting Sophie to push her away.

But that never happened.

Sophie closed her eyes at the feel of Sian's lips against hers. The kiss felt different than normal, it felt like it was their first kiss. Sophie felt Sian's tongue brush against her bottom lip before she granted it entry. Sian's hands came to rest on Sophie's waist as she squeezed it softly. It was Sian who first broke the kiss, she pecked Sophie's nose before resting her forehead against hers. Sophie's eyes remained closed as she thought about their first kiss.

"_Sophie, are you even listening to me?" Sian asked impatiently, she was tapping her foot, her eyes on Sophie._

_Sophie hadn't been listening to her; truthfully she hadn't really even heard that last question. Her attention was solely on the way Sian's chest rose and fell as she huffed in anger. The way her cheeks held a slight tinge of pink demonstrating her frustration. Sophie had been looking at Sian in a different way for the past couple of weeks and she wasn't sure why she chose this precise moment to connect their lips but it just felt right._

_She could feel Sian's hesitance and went to pull away before she felt Sian kiss her back. Sophie ignored the butterflies in her stomach, ignored the sudden urge to grab Sian and kiss her harder and instead cupped her cheek softly and enjoyed her first kiss._

_Their first kiss._

"I love you."

Sophie's eyes opened at Sian's comment before seeking Sian's hands and entwining their fingers. "I know you do."

Sian closed her eyes tightly. "Please don't tell me we're over Sophie. I don't think I can take it."

Sophie could see the tears streaming down Sian's cheeks and wanted nothing more than to wipe them away but as soon as she attempted to remove her hands from Sian's, Sian instantly tightened her hold on them. "Please don't cry."

Sian's eyes found Sophie. "I am so sorry Soph. For everything."

She was so broken and it killed Sophie. Fair enough Sian had landed herself in this predicament but Sophie hadn't exactly been without fault. Sophie had been the one who filed for divorce, she had been the one who ran away from their problems instead of trying to fix them and she had been the one who slept with somebody else. "I know you're sorry baby." Sophie inhaled softly. "I'm not mad at you."

Sian's eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

"I want to be." Sophie explained. "I want to hate you for what you did but every time I think about ending this, I think of ten reasons why I shouldn't." Sophie finally freed one of her hands and stroked Sian's tear-stained cheek. "When I look at you, I don't see the person who lied to me, I don't see the person I wanted to divorce, I see the person I fell in love with. The person I've been in love with since I was 15. The person I'm still very much in love with." Sian sniffed as Sophie continued. "After what you did, I should scream at you and tell you to leave me alone but I don't want that. I don't want you out of my life…you said you'd forgiven me for cheating, if you're being the bigger person then so am I."

"It's hardly the same thing Soph." Sian replied. "You slept with one person when we were separated and I spent months fabricating this lie about us being happily married. I don't deserve forgiveness."

"Well you're getting it." Sophie paused before stepping away from Sian slightly, releasing her other hand from Sian's grasp. "I should never have taken the easy way out and filed for divorce. I should have given you another chance, should have given our relationship another chance."

"You gave me plenty of chances Sophie." Sian said sadly. "I've had my second chance, my third and my fourth and plenty more."

"Maybe that's true but that was then and this is now." Sophie explained. "I'm not interested in the past; I'm only concerned about the here and now." Sophie's lips curled up into a small smile as Sian squeezed her hand. "Whoever said marriage was hard really knew what they were talking about."

Sian laughed quietly and muttered a small yes. "When we got married, I didn't see it going this way."

"Life has a funny way of turning out the exact opposite of what you expect." Sophie replied. "I always expected us to get married, start a family and stay together until we were old and wrinkly."

Sian chuckled. "Yeah I had the same image." She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. "It's not too late to still have that is it?"

Sophie knew that she could just say no and that would be that but if this relationship was going to work, she knew they had to be honest. "After our argument, I was trying to decide what to do so I flipped a coin."

Sian blinked quickly. "You flipped a coin to decide whether or not to stay with me." She asked incredulously.

"I wasn't going to pay attention to it; I just like the simplicity of it." Sophie said quickly. "Heads means one thing, tails means another. It's as simple as that." Sophie explained. "I wanted my decision to be that simple."

"What did the coin say?" Sian asked.

"It said I should leave." Sian's face dropped. "I didn't flip it to get my answer but it helped me realise how easy my decision was."

"I don't understand…"

"Heads or tails, it's such an easy choice in comparison with mine. I thought deciding whether or not to stay with you would be such a difficult decision but it wasn't." Sophie said. "Because there was only ever one answer."

"Which was?"

"I left you once before and that was the biggest mistake of my life." Sophie said. "I'm not making that again."

"Does that mean what I think it means?"

"Sian Powers, you're the one for me. Despite your faults and despite mine, we work." Sophie clarified with a smile. "Last time things were hard, I took the easy way out. This time I'm staying to fight for us." Sian smiled widely. "I don't know what that means but I'm willing to do it even if that involves couples counselling."

Sian's smile dropped slightly. "Counselling?"

"If you want us to make it."

Sian grabbed Sophie's right hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "I will do whatever's necessary."

"When we were younger you promised me forever Sian." Sophie spoke the words quietly, watching as Sian nodded. "Do you still mean that?"

Sian kissed Sophie briefly. "Always." She rubbed their noses together in an Eskimo kiss before Sophie pulled her into a hug.

When Sophie found out about the lies and Sian's deceit, Sian was sure that was it. She mentally prepared herself for Sophie to end their marriage but Sophie had completely taken her by surprise. Sian couldn't help but wonder what if she'd never gone along with the lie. She probably wouldn't be in Sophie's arms right now and they would most likely be divorce. Sometimes, maybe it's necessary to take that risk because if you don't, you'll always wonder what would have happened if you'd been brave enough to just take a leap of faith.

**Three years later:**

Sian rolled over gently and watched as Sophie slept peacefully. Content in her dreams. Sian brushed a strand of hair away from her wife's face before smiling as Sophie's nose crinkled in her sleep. She never expected Sophie to give her a second chance but since she had, their marriage had been perfect.

Sian rolled back over and grabbed the picture which rested on her bedside table. She could remember always looking at the picture years ago, when Sophie had filed for divorced and she could remember feeling depressed at the knowledge that she had lost Sophie but now the picture had changed. It wasn't of her and Sophie at Blackpool anymore, it was of her, Sophie and their daughter Amelia.

She's only three months old.

Now whenever Sian looks at that picture, she doesn't feel depressed, she doesn't reminisce about her memories with Sophie because they're all she has. Instead she feels happy and thinks about the memories that are still to be created, only this time with the three of them.

Every night she looks at that picture and she can't help but be thankful that she was given a second chance.


End file.
